[thebigjewel] Country Doctor - September 24, 2002

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 25 Sep 2002 04:56:54 -0600 (MDT)

* Ernst Albrecht joins us again from the trenches. Take a few minutes to 
sit back and enjoy him spin us a wonderful tale of life and love. 

Country Doctor
By Ernst Albrecht

I?ve been retired for a number of years. Lean a little closer. I say I?ve 
been retired for a number of years. Did you hear that? Good. Yes, I was a 
doctor. ?Doc? they used to call me. I?d be sitting near the fireplace with 
my head in brandy snifter when someone would sound the alarm: ?Doc, come 
quick. Luke, he bahn hurt bedt.? 

?Get outta her,? I?d say. ?Go on, get outta here!? 

Then I?d try to throw the brand snifter at ?em but my head would stuck fast 
inside of it. If there was time I?d drink a little Irish coffee to sober 
up. Then I?d wash my feet and embark on the next train for New York so I 
could pick up my doctor?s bag at the pawn shop. But if it was a real 
emergency, like when Luke got lost in Gecko Cavern, I?d grab whatever I 
could find in the kitchen and go. 

It was generally a good thing when I didn?t find my doctor?s bag. I never 
could figure out what most of that stuff was inside there. A lot of those 
little glass vials with powder in them were labeled with a skull and 
corssbones and that always made me feel superstitious. 

Anyway, by the time I got to that cave most of the town folk were there 
singing church hymns. They all looked pretty scared. Spotted corn fever had 
taken its toll the previous winter, so the fear was still hanging in their 
watery gray eyes. We all knew that come Spring (God willing that Spring did 
come), the Dry Burlap Rash would be the weight of worry on our minds. 

By and by a black preacher man by the name of Nubi Nixon leads me to the 
mouth of the cave. ?Have a care, Doc,? he says. ?That place is chock full 
of geckos!? 

He puts boney hand alongside his face and rolls his eyes around. I take a 
big look into the dark of that cave. Then I rear myself up like a jungle 
beast ill my rib cage just about busts and I yell, ?Sa-tan, begone! Sa-tan, 
For the whole gosh-darned thing please visit: 

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  • » [thebigjewel] Country Doctor - September 24, 2002