[tcb] Re: friday websites
- From: Neil McGlothin <nbmdude@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 9 Mar 2007 08:19:47 -0800 (PST)
Here's a few 'old' jokes....those of us who are older
than our buses might relate to :)
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US, PLEASE!!!! I think
it already has!!!!
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house
together. One night the 96
year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and
pauses. She yells to
the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the
bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come
up and see." She starts
up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs
or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having
tea listening to her sisters.
She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never
get that forgetful," as she
knocked on her wooden table for good measure. " She
then yells, "I'll come up
and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the
door."
_______________________________________________
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing
golf one fine March
day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man
replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in,
"So am I. Let's have
a beer."
___________________________________________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in
a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her
nightgown and say,
"Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a
wheelchair. Flipping her gown at
him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a
moment or two and finally
answered, "I'll take the soup."
____________________________________________
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years,
they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their
activities had been limited to meeting a few times a
week to play cards. One day,
they were playing cards when one looked at the other
and said, "Now don't
get mad at me . I know we've been friends for a long
time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared
at her. For at
least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said,
"How soon do you need to know?"
________________________________ _____________
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning
him, "Herman, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the
wrong way on Interstate
77. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not
just one car. It's
hundreds of them!"
______________________________________________
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car,
both could barely see
over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they
came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just
went on through. The
woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must
be losing it. I
could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more
minutes, they came to another intersection and the
light was red again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the
passenger seat was
almost sure that the light had been red but was really
concerned that she was
losing it.! She was getting nervous. At the next
intersection, sure enough,
the light was red and they went on through. So, she
turned to the other
woman and said, "Mildred, do you know that we just ran
through three
red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"
______________________________________________________
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
report that her car
has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to
the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the
steering wheel, the brake
pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The
dispatcher say, "Stay calm,
Maam, an officer is on the way." A few minutes later,
the officer radios
in. "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat
by mistake
--- Katrina Martin <k.d.martin@xxxxxxx> wrote:
> Weirdest Places
>
>
http://crazylinkz.blogspot.com/2006/07/most-weirdest-worlds-places.html
>
> Sun dogs
>
>
http://fogonazos.blogspot.com/2007/03/sun-dogs-lights-in-sky.html
>
> D'oh your car is illegal!
>
>
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007090280,00.html
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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