[tcb] Murray and the deer

  • From: "chuck" <sukchew@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "Denis Dodson" <coocoo@xxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2010 09:21:40 -0500

I'm glad to hear that all is relatively well.You should have stayed home and 
none of this would have happened.I have attached instructions on roping a 
deer.it was just about the only thing you didn't include in you capture 
consideration.I just can't believe that there is a dent in the door that is 
even close to the size of your ass.
  At least it wasn't a tree that jumped out in front of you and I know that the 
brakes have just been repaired.Know that it makes me all the more 
suspicious.The Antlers were propably small tree limbs.besides murray has been 
looking a little tacky and it's time for some new paint.
 Plus I know that you don't have anything else to do and Murray work is a good 
winter project.Atleast you didn't cut the dash,Did you?

Happy hammering
--- Begin Message ---
  • From: "chuck" <sukchew@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2010 08:58:45 -0500
oleblue
----- Original Message ----- 
From: Boyd Manning 
To: a chuck blue 
Cc: a collen hinckley ; a connie blaylock ; a heath wortham ; a kaufmanpawn ; a 
lis ; a robert hamill ; a tatom ; a <terrellgunshop@xxxxxxxxx> ; aa Sheri L. 
Kempe - REALTOR ; angela rook ; b jim helm ; b kenya shaw ; b McLAINS ; b mike 
bedford ; b pattie barr 
Sent: Wednesday, October 13, 2010 2:10 PM
Subject: Fw: Roping a deer....






----- Forwarded Message ----
From: CARTER PORTER - REALTOR <carter@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: CARTER PORTER - REALTOR <carter@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Wed, October 13, 2010 1:15:06 PM
Subject: Roping a deer....


It shouldn't take much imagination to visual this.............











        Roping A Deer------- ( Names have been removed to protect the Stupid! )

         Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!

        I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in 
        a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat 
it.

        The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured 
        that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have 
much fear 
        of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and 
sniff at the 
        bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it 
should not 
        be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to 
calm it 
        down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

         I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with 
        my rope.

         The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well 
        back. They were not having any of it.

         After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I 
        picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the 
feeder, and 
        threw.. My rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

         I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so 
        I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, 
but you could 
        tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

         I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little 
        tension on the rope and then received an education.

         The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may 
        just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are 
spurred to action 
        when you start pulling on that rope.

         That deer EXPLODED.

         The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer 
        is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight 
range I could 
        fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

         A deer-- no chance.

         That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was 
        no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me 
off my feet 
        and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that 
having a deer 
        on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

         The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina 
        as many other animals.


         A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as 
        quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It 
took me 
        a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood 
flowing out 
        of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for 
corn-fed 
        venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that 
rope.

         I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around 
        its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the 
time, there was 
        no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the 
thing, 
        and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

         Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where 
        I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against 
various large 
        rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly 
enough to 
        recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount 
of responsibility 
        for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to 
suffer a slow 
        death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the 
feeder - 
        a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

         I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could 
        get my rope back.

         Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million 
        years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very 
surprised 
        when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of 
my wrist.

         Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a 
        horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and 
shakes 
        its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

         The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably 
        to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. 
My method 
        was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for 
several minutes, 
        but it was likely only several seconds.

         I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning 
        that claim by now), tricked it.

         While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right 
        arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That 
was when 
        I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

         Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear 
        right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder 
level, and 
        their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, 
when an animal 
        -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get 
away easily, 
        the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive 
move towards 
        the animal.
         This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you 
        can escape.

         This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such 
        trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a 
different 
        strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

         The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and 
        run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that 
it will 
        hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from 
horses after 
        all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the 
second 
        I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me 
down.

         Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does 
        not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger 
        has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down 
on you 
        while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your 
head.

         I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went 
        away.

         So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring 
        a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

     






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