[tcb] Re: Absolutely no Bus Content - but still funny

  • From: Mark Jenkins <marktts88@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2010 16:43:27 -0800 (PST)

That is priceless

Sent from my iPhone

On Mar 1, 2010, at 6:30 PM, Ronnie Hughes <fracdogii@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

This was from my mom. 

 

Subject: The Purina Diet

 

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my 
loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman 
behind me asked if I had a dog. 

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was 
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I 
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I 
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices 
and IVs in both arms. 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it 
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or 
two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works 
well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically 
everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I 
ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I 
stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing 
so hard. 

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. 

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world 
to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired 
friends.......it will be their Laugh for the day



 

 


 

 


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