My favorite rule of the bunch.
LAW 29:
You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time,
and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.
These are awesome KD!
Best,
Rico aka OB
--------------------------------------------
On Fri, 10/14/16, dwayne-kay <dwayne-kay@xxxxxxx> wrote:
Subject: [sogagg] Re: Laws of Golf -- An important read
To: sogagg@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Friday, October 14, 2016, 8:21 PM
Okay, I printed this. Then I
went down to my local art supply store. I bought I
beautiful frame. I framed these great sayings.
Then I tried to put it in my golf bag.
The art supply store won’t take
back my frame…
From:
sogagg-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:sogagg-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Gar
Wright
Sent: Friday, October 14, 2016 1:14 PM
To: SOGAGG <sogagg@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [sogagg] Laws of Golf -- An important
read
Laws of Golf**
LAW 1:
No matter
how bad your last shot was, you
should have Inner
peace knowing that a shittier
one is yet to come. (This law
does not expire on
the 18th hole, since it has
the supernatural
tendency to extend over the
course of a
tournament, a summer and,
eventually, a lifetime.)
LAW 2:
Your best
round of golf will be followed almost
immediately by your worst
round ever. The
probability of the latter
increases with
the
number of people you tell about the
former.
LAW 3:
Brand new
golf balls are water-magnetic. (Though
this cannot be proven in the
lab, it is a known fact
that the more expensive
the golf ball, the greater
its attraction to water.
Expensive clubs have
been known to be partly made
with this most
unusual natural alloy.)
LAW 4:
Golf
balls never bounce off of trees back into play.
If one does, the tree is
breaking a law of the
universe and should be cut
down.
LAW 5:
No matter
what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all
His playing partners must
solemnly chant "You
looked up," or invoke the
wrath of the universe.
LAW 6:
The higher
a golfer's handicap, the more qualified
he deems himself as an
instructor.
LAW 7:
Every
par-three hole in the world has a secret
desire to humiliate golfers.
The shorter the hole,
the greater its desire.
LAW 8:
Palm trees
eat golf balls.
LAW 9:
Sand is
alive. It will swallow your balls.
LAW 10:
A golfer
hitting into your group will always be
bigger than anyone in your group.
Likewise, a
group you accidentally hit into will
consist of a
football player, a professional
wrestler, a
convicted murderer and an IRS agent
-- or some
similar combination.
LAW 11:
All 3-woods
are demon-possessed .
LAW 12:
Golf balls
from the same "sleeve" tend to follow
one another, particularly out
of bounds or into the
water (See LAW 3).
LAW 13:
A severe
slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 14:
The person
you would most hate to lose to will
always be the one who beats
you.
LAW 15 :
The last
three holes of a round will automatically
adjust your score to what it
really should be.
LAW 16:
Golf should
be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 17:
All vows
taken on a golf course shall be valid only
until the sunset.
LAW 18:
Since bad
shots come in groups of three, your
fourth consecutive bad shot is
really the beginning
of the next group of three.
LAW 19:
When
you look up and cause an awful shot, you
will always look
down again at exactly the
moment when you should
have continued
watching the ball if you
ever want to see it again.
LAW 20:
The less
skilled the player, the more likely he is to
share his ideas about your
swing.
LAW 21:
If it
isn't broke, try changing your grip.
LAW 22:
Golfers who
claim they don't cheat, also lie.
LAW 23:
A golf
match is a test of your skill against your
opponent's luck.
LAW 24:
It's
surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when
you lie 8.
LAW 25:
Counting on
your opponent to inform you when he
breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of
his own haircut.
LAW 26:
Nonchalant
putts count the same as chalant putts.
LAW 27:
It's
not a gimme if you're still away.
LAW 28:
The
shortest distance between any two points on
a golf course is a straight
line that passes directly
through the center of a very
large tree.
LAW 29:
You can hit a 2-acre fairway
10% of the time,
and a 2-inch branch 90%
of the time.
LAW 30:
Every Time
a golfer makes a birdie, he must
subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore
the fundamental equilibrium of
the Universe.
LAW 31:
If you want
to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods
does, simply try to lay up just
short of a water hazard.
LAW 32:
There are two things you can learn
by stopping
your backswing at the top and
checking the
position of your hands: how
many hands you have, and which one
is wearing the glove.
LAW 33:
Hazards attract; fairways repel.
LAW 34:
You can put
"draw" on the ball, you can put "fade"
on the ball, but no golfer can put
"straight" on the ball.
LAW 35:
A ball you can see in
the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
LAW 36:
Don't buy a putter
until you've had a chance to throw
it. Gar Wright(cell) 619-733-3309(fax) 619-435-0747gar.wright77@xxxxxxxxx
