[ SHOWGSD-L ] Melissa's posts
- From: "David Fritsche" <dfritsche@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 14 May 2005 14:21:14 -0700
> That should have been "seriously". Why do we have to police the
> grammar
> every day. Those of yo whu cant spell and use propur punkuation,
> need to go
> back to skool or find a new way to kuminicate.
> Knot that there is anything wrong with that!
> Evan
Changes to the English Language
- submitted by Ken Smiths
===============================
The European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations,
Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-
English".
In the first year, 's' will replace the
soft 'c'. Sertainly,this will make the
sivil servants jump with joy. The hard
'c' will be dropped in favor of the 'k'.
This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph'
will be replased with the 'f'. This will
make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter!
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the
new spelling kan be expected to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the
removal of double leters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful
and it should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to
steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and
'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze
unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of
kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a
rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it
ezi tu undrstand ech ozer.
Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
:
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