[ SHOWGSD-L ] Fun with words
- From: Susan Madlung <stormygsd@xxxxxxx>
- To: ShowGSD-l <showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 13 Nov 2005 09:45:14 -0800
A friend sent these to me this morning.. I laughed so hard I just had to
share them. Admittedly, some are slightly off color, so I deeply apologize
to all that may be offended - but they were published in the Washington
Post.
Sue Madlung - Shadowacre Reg'd German Shepherds
http://www.shadowacre.jessie.com
Standing @ Stud
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's {2005}
winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a
serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
More fun with words....Annual Neologisms Contest
Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which
readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. And the
winners are....
1.Coffee (n.). a person who is coughed upon.
2.Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3.Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope over having a flat stomach.
4.Esplanade (v.). to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over with a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
14. Pokemon (n.), a Jamaican proctologist
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die your soul goes up
on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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