[ SHOWGSD-L ] Dog quotations and funny sayings
- From: Barbara Galasso <uwish@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 13:46:17 -0400
I woke up this morning with a miserable migraine and felt sick to my
stomach which normally accompanies these kinds of headaches. So I got
up and got myself an ice pack to put on my head and went back to bed.
Of course the puppies heard me and they let me know it with their loud
repetitious howling and crying. So I got back up and let them out of
their first overnight, in the crate, "unhappy and they let me know it",
keep me awake all night torture. Hmm.......maybe that's why I woke with
such a rotten headache in the first place. So I let the "little
darlings" out at 5:45 a.m. and gave them a couple of dog biscuits and
went back to bed until 7 a.m. when I normally feed them their breakfast.
Never did go back to sleep, and all I kept saying to myself was, "God,
I feel sicker than a dog." I notice any time that I feel really sick, I
find myself using this expression. So it got me to thinking about dog
quotations and how they start and just what the heck do they mean by
some of them anyway.
"Sicker than a dog" - now I ask you in the short life span of our dogs,
unless they have life threatening illnesses, how often is your dog ever
really sick? NOT. I mean I don't know if they get headaches or
what...... I've seen them take some pretty heavy cracks to the head by
running into something while playing, and they may be temporarily
startled and then, boom, they're right back to running around like
maniacs again. Does this mean they're dense or what, or is their pain
threshold really that much better than ours? If I banged my head into
as much furniture as they do, I'd be knocked out cold!
"Every dog has its day" - I don't know about you, but I think every day
belongs to the dog. I mean I feed him before I feed myself. They are
groomed and cleaned even before I brush my own hair in the morning.
Their coats shine and they look healthy. One look in the mirror at
myself with my hair tossed every which way, my clothes mismatched, the
fragrance that comes off my body is what was once on their body, my
finger nails forgets what the stroke of a Revlon brush painting a pretty
color on them looks like. I look down at my muddy old shoes, and notice
the pine shavings are adhering to the sides of the soles, reminding me I
never did find out where that puppy just went potty. I have a pretty
good idea I'm going to find out as soon as I lift up my foot. It's just
about this time that I hear the door bell ring and it's the UPS man
staring at me from the other side of the now opened door. As I sign for
my package, his and my eyes meet. I follow his eyes as he notices the
pine shavings peeking out from under my shoes. I give him a sheepish
grin and he forces a polite smile back in return. He brings his hand up
to his nose and sniffles and I can just hear him saying to himself that
I look and smell like "something the cat dragged in." (hmm - cat
quotation). He quickly walks away, as I go look for a small twig that
will fit comfortably in the grooves of the soles of my shoes. I turn
around and walk back in to the house where I am greeted at the door by
one of the puppies who has decided to take a liking to my brand new
bedroom slippers and the foam which once made them comfortable to walk
in, is now decorating my living room rug. "Yup, it certainly looks
like every dog has it's day!"
"I work like a dog" - Work like a dog? What work does a dog do? He
gets his meals made for him twice a day. Mine get their meat cooked and
chopped up with they special treats added to it. Most of the time they
get fed first. They have clean fresh water available to them at all
times. They potty where ever they please. I clean it up for them.
They get groomed with their coats shampooed, cream rinsed, nails
clipped, and their ears cleaned. I don't even remember my hair dressers
first name anymore. It's been so long since I've seen her. My hair
has grown so long. I look like a left over from the hippy generation.
My nails haven't seen the side of an emery board no less having a
manicure. The dog sleeps on the bed, steals the best spot on the sofa
with his oversized body stretched out so I must resort to the other end
or find myself a chair. He always has plenty of toys and chews to
entertain himself. Him work? I don't think so!
"You can't teach an old dog new tricks" AND "dogs are such creatures of
habit." I think these two should be linked together. Did you ever try
to distract a dog when he has his mind set on something? Try changing a
puppies mind when she insists on biting her sister while she sleeps.
You see her creep up to the other puppy, and you stop her in her tracks
just before her wide open, razor sharp teeth is getting ready to clamp
down on her sister's neck while she is in a peaceful slumber. You push
her away and tell her "No." She spins around and is ready for the
attack again. You push her away again repeating the word "No." This
could go on for ten minutes. Does she not get the idea, or are dogs
just plain old stubborn and want their own way all the time? Is there
something in their brain chemistry that's programmed to tell them to get
the job finished that they started? And forget about allowing them up
on a sofa and then you have it reupholstered and you change your mind;
you don't want him up on the sofa anymore. Good luck. As long as that
sofa is there, all bets are off. If you allowed him up there before,
just try changing his mind. Just because YOU changed the fabric,
doesn't mean he's changed HIS old habits.
FUNNY SAYINGS:
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We
can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret
One reason a dog is such a lovable creature is his tail wags instead of
his tongue. ~Author Unknown
According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best
friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider mans best
friend is his dog.
-- Jay Leno <http://www.amusingquotes.com/h/l/Jay_Leno_1.htm>
Oops, got to run.....................I hear the puppies outside making a
bit of a commotion. Seems like they're in a bit of a scuffle. They're
always "fighting like cats and dogs." Best, Barbara Galasso
--
Barbara J. Galasso
CHIEFTAINS GERMAN SHEPHERDS
Visit my website at http://chieftainsgermanshepherds.com
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