[ SHOWGSD-L ] Dog Show Handler/Owner - funny

  • From: "LuAnn Kennedy" <brendangsd@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2005 06:59:32 -0500

This is funny, but true.
LuAnn Kennedy
  New Dog Show Handler/Owner Rescue Assoc. Opens to the Community

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (ARP)-- Looking for someone special to help 
around the kennel or on dog show trips? Would you like that special 
companion, who understands, to share your home and life? Why not consider 
adopting a rescued handler/owner!

The Dog Show Handler/Owner Rescue Association is currently screening
families who might be interested in adopting or fostering a handler/owner 
rescue (or H.O.R.s for short). While there are a great many canine breed rescue 
organizations in our communities, there has been nothing (until now) to help 
the displaced, neglected or abandoned handler/owner.  The need is greater than 
ever and the  Dog Show H.O.R. Assoc. needs your help to address this growing 
problem.

Who are the H.O.R.s that need help? Well, we see them every day. Some are lost 
or abandoned, then picked up in parks attempting to stack squirrels. Others are 
turned in by parents or spouses who didn't realize how much time, care and 
responsibility it takes to keep these special H.O.R.s. Often, these H.O.R.s are 
turned in with their own dogs. A number of H.O.R.s come to us because of bad 
knees and their families have decided they have outlived their usefulness.  
Many require medical attention due to years of caring for their dogs, yet 
neglecting their own diet, exercise and medical care.

You're probably asking yourself right now, "How can I help?"  We've prepared 
some questions to help you decide if you might be a suitable dog show H.O.R. 
family:

    a. Do you have a fenced yard?
    b. Do you mind the smell of liver in the house?
    c. Do you have a spare RV or Camper?
    d. Are you able to provide suitable clothing with many pockets?
    e. Do you have anything that can be groomed (often shag carpeting, stuffed 
animals or other family members) that can calm eager hands?
    f. Are you able to listen for hours on end, patiently, and
supportively?
    g. Do you have thousands of extra dollars needed to properly support a dog 
show H. O. R.?

  If you've answered "yes!" to these questions, you may be dog show H.O.R.
  material!

Adopting a dog show H.O.R. can be a very rewarding experience. They are usually 
so willing to please, and often are happy with only an occasional class ribbon 
to play with. They can pick up droppings, are willing to help groom and show 
your own animals, and already know directions to every fairground and 
showground in the lower 48 states.

They can have vast amounts of knowledge and wisdom that they are willing to 
impart to anyone who has the patience to listen for hours.... and hours... and 
hours. While some may need a bit of resocializing, better nutrition and regular 
exercise, most adjust very well to their new dog show families when given 
appropriate time, reconditioning, patience and access to liver.

We also get a few breeder/handler/owner rescues (B. H. O. R. s) from time to 
time. Dog show B.H.O.R.s are often more difficult to place as they are usually 
alphas and may have a harder time getting along with existing dog show 
breeders. They tend to be less submissive, and often will try to control the 
household and existing breeder's program if strong boundaries are not set. 

There is hope for B.H.O.R.s, though. For those with the experience, extra 
patience and a strong hand, even dog show B.H.O.R.s can find new and useful 
lives.

So, if you're interested in fostering or adopting either a dog show H.O.R. or 
B.H.O.R., please contact us. If you are not able to foster or adopt at this 
time, if you know of a dog show H.O.R. or B.H.O.R. in need of rehoming, or 
would just like to make a much needed donation, please give us a call at 
800-555-HORS!  You can also visit one of our Dog Show B.H.O.R.s and H.O.R.s 
booths located at most, major dog shows.

Associated Ridiculous Press--3/18/05
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