[ratpack] HUMOR: NEW Stimulus Check
- From: Aleta Boyce <alboyce@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: ratpack@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 17 May 2012 06:21:04 -0600
Still laughing...
How about if I get the tatoo and have a yard sale while I drink beer all day
with a ball player??
I called the Canon tech to figure out why my printer wasn't printing correctly
from Photoshop (JUST photoshop - not Illustrator, Preview or Word). btw -
Photoshop printed fine to the big Epson printer, just not the Canon, and I had
already reinstalled Photoshop from Disk.
I got to talk to a guy in Virginia who spoke perfect English. He actually KNEW
his business and had me back up and running within 20-30 minutes. (Print
driver update was no good, go back to disk copy and reinstall.) Yeah, it was a
no-brainer, but he'd never seen one just print badly from one program. It was
a bit weird.
anyway -
I'll buy Canon again just for that call. I HATED calling HP support. If I
could even understand the tech they had no clue how to handle the problem and I
spent hours on the phone unnecessarily for a cheap printer.
also, my sinus operation was a success, and I'm headed out to the track this
weekend and next weekend, at least for a few hours each day. I'm finishing up
a big painting of Shane Turpin in a race from last year and it looks pretty
good.
Sorry, guys, but I'm enjoying the negative/positive space in motorcycles, and
they're the only races out here, anyway.
I almost cried when I watched the Rolex race the other day.
Aleta
On May 16, 2012, at 11:54 PM, humminboid@xxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
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> Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
> Stimulus' payment.
>
> This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A
> format:
>
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> Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
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> A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
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> Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
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> A. From taxpayers.
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> Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
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> A. Only a smidgen of it.
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> Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
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> A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
> set, thus stimulating the economy.
>
>
> Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
>
> A. Shut up.
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> Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
> spending your stimulus check wisely:
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> * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to
> China or Sri Lanka .
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> * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
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> * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
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> * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
> Honduras and Guatemala ..
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> * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
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> * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
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> * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
> management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
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> Instead, keep the money in America by:
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> 1) Spending it at yard sales, or
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> 2) Going to ball games, or
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> 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
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> 4) Beer or
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> 5) Tattoos.
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> (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
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> Conclusion:
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> Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and
> drink beer all day !
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> No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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