OToole L wrote:
WARNING: Most of you who get this e-mail will find it all very uninteresting. I will not be offended if you chose to delete it.
And the response will be equally tedious. Unless you're very interested in the minutiae of editing, I suggest you move along--nothing to see here! ;-)
1) Could some of the lower-quality screenshots be replaced with better images, like the book covers in the Newsletters?
They could, but unless someone else can source them, they won't be! :-D
2) Is it 'Kai skills' or 'Kai Skills'? A global search & replace may be in order.
'Kai Skills'. Fixed.
Page 2: * Should the reviews for Fire on the Water be chronologically ordered?
No; the magazines are listed alphabetically by title, same as the LW_misc file.
Page 3: * This page seems quite cramped. Is this just to stop the TOC from going on to another page?
Yes, and that's better IMHO.
* (Possibly related to the last point) List TMoD Instructions separately from the Sinclair User Instructions.
Done, though the page is slightly more cramped now. Oh well.
* Is there a publication date for any of the Micro Hobby articles?
Fixed.
* pages 86 & 87 -> pages 86 and 87 (consistency with others)
Fixed.
* issue # 87 -> issue #87
Fixed.
* Micro Hobby issue -> Micro Hobby Magazine issue (x2)
Fixed.
* issue #112 January -> issue #112 June
Fixed.
* Should all articles be in chronological order?
No, alphabetical by Magazine title.
Page 4: * 2nd paragraph: "a great black cloud comes onto the western skies" Can the word 'onto' be used like this? * 'IMPORTANT' section: italicise 'Flight from the Dark' (x2) * 'IMPORTANT' section: shown). -> shown.)
Fixed.
Page 5: * 2.1 h: section -> Section * 2.1 h: 2.3). -> 2.3.) * 3.1 a: Kai monastery -> Kai Monastery * 3.1 d: attack with a Mindblast -> attack with Mindblast
Fixed.
* 3.1 e: Mindblast -> Mindforce
No, I disagree since it's a Kai Master being spoken of, who would have a specific Kai Discipline.
* 3.2 a: monastery -> Monastery
Fixed.
Page 6: * 3.3 a: monastery -> Monastery
Fixed.
* 3.7 a: proficiency at -> proficiency in
Fixed.
* 3.7 b: Water). -> Water.)
Fixed.
Also: italicised "Fire on the Water"
* 5: Who came up with these keys?
Five Ways Software
Page 7: * packages -> packaged
Fixed.
On another side note, I've just noticed that the keyboard overlay for the Spectrum games looks ... grubby. Is this a scanning issue?
It was the best I could do with the scan I had. As it is, I replaced all of the text to make it legible. Unless someone wants to try adjusting this themselves using copies of Gary Chalk's original artwork from FFTD, I'm happy to go with it.
Page 9: * 2nd paragraph: company'' -> company's
Fixed.
* 5th paragraph: Since then Five Ways -> Since then, Five Ways
Unnecessary, IMHO.
* 3rd column, 4th paragraph: retain -> retail
Fixed.
Page 10: * 2nd paragraph: the Arrow single role-play book -> the Arrow role-play book (or maybe 'single player'?)
"solo role-play"--fixed.
* 4th paragraph: depend in -> depend on
Fixed.
Page 11: * Did anyone else have the first impression of "YOU SWEAR!" "I do?" upon first seeing this page?
:-p
* 1st paragraph: Monastery of Kai -> Monastery of the Kai
Fixed.
* 2nd paragraph: monastery -> Monastery
I think it's OK as it is in this instance.
* 3rd paragraph: retrieve Sommerswerd -> retrieve the Sommerswerd
Fixed.
* left column, 2nd paragraph: Combat Skills -> Combat Skill (or maybe COMBAT SKILL to be consistent with the instructions?)
No, this seems OK to me.
Page 12: * 2nd paragraph: axes and swords -> axes, and swords (How obsessive are we about the ... uhh ... thingy comma?)
Fixed.
* 3rd paragraph: discipline -> disciplines
No, the sentence structure is a bit unusual, but 'discipline' is correct.
* 3rd paragraph: ability -> abilities
Again, 'ability' is correct, but the sentence can read unusually at a glance.
* 4th paragraph: monastery -> Monastery
Arbitrary, but I think the original is OK here.
Page 13: * 1st paragraph: In the fighting Vashna -> In the fighting, Vashna * 1st paragraph: the sword of the sun -> the Sword of the Sun
Fixed.
* 2nd column, 4th paragraph: Italicise 'Flight from the Dark'
Should be "Fire on the Water"--fixed.
* 2nd column, 4th paragraph: shown). -> shown.)
Fixed.
Page 14: * 2.1 h: section -> Section * 2.1 h: 2.3). -> 2.3.) * 2.3 c: remove comma
Fixed.
* 3.1 a: Why is 'Castle Courtyard' capitalised?
Because it is in the original! I suppose to make it stand out to players as it being a Specific Location.
* 3.1 LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT -> 3.2 LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT * 3.1/3.2: THE KAI CASTLE COURTYARD -> THE CASTLE COURTYARD (I don't believe there is a Kai castle.)
Fixed.
Page 15: * 3.2 e: Mindblast -> Mindforce * 3.3: Italicise 'FLIGHT FROM THE DARK' * 3.3 a: Italicise 'Flight from the Dark' * 3.4 a: Italicise 'Flight from the Dark'
Fixed.
Page 16: * Remove pointless dividing line on left of page
Limitation of MS-Word; would require a complete redesign of that entire page. Not going to happen. Besides which, it is there in the original magazine, I've just removed the unnecessary text.
* the Kai Monastery, Holmgard and Durenor -> the Kai Monastery, Holmgard, and Durenor * There seems to be something very wrong with the sentence "Gary Chalk ... has now turned his BA in design to good design to good effect ..."
Fixed.
* BA -> B.A.
Not fixed--see C.B. vs. CB and H.E. vs. HE in the FW books.
* Starship Captain and Battlecars -> Starship Captain, and Battlecars
Fixed.
Page 17: * 1st column: a characters enters -> a character enters * 1st column: clip clop' -> 'clip clop' * 1st column: a noise which become -> a noise which becomes * 1st column: their use a keywords -> their use as keywords
Fixed.
* 1st column: a sword and thirty-two gold -> a sword, and thirty-two gold (Now this is just getting silly.)
Unnecessary--there are only two items in the list.
* 2nd column: Combat Skill -> COMBAT SKILL * 2nd column: endurance -> ENDURANCE * 2nd column: CHOP -> CHOP, * 2nd column: etc -> etc. * 2nd column: hose -> those * 2nd column: mind force -> Mindforce * 2nd column: a wolf's head which bean -> a wolf head which bears * 2nd column: Italicise 'précis' * 2nd column: an_ -> an * 2nd/3rd column split: pur chased -> pur-chased * 3rd column: laid out Movements -> laid out. Movements * 3rd column: seized. as -> seized, as * 4th column: improve our play -> improve your play * 4th column: you route -> your route
Fixed.
* Remove non-LW advertisement at bottom
Nope! This is an advert for a computer game written by Steve Jackson--a rival gamebook author. I think it's an interesting juxtaposition against the page-and-a-half article about a game based on Joe Dever's books.
Page 18: * heading: base don -> based on
Fixed.
* 3rd paragraph: "Using a computer to play such a paragraph game has various advantages over the book versions. No pages to turn, no risk of losing your place or forgetting the next paragraph number, no need to throw dice or to keep records on scraps of paper." Sound familiar to anyone? :-)
But it doesn't use cookies to store the game, so Project Aon wins hands down.
* 3rd paragraph: plot', 'use -> plot', and 'use
No, I think the original, while grammatically poor, should stay because of the way the sentence is laid out.
* 2nd column: moving characters and use of -> moving characters, and use of * 2nd column: well trained -> well-trained * 2nd column: computer versions in -> computer versions is * 2nd column: modes and Mindblast -> modes of Mindblast * 3rd column, 1st paragraph: constantly updated -> constantly-updated * 3rd column, last paragraph: However our copy -> However, our copy
Fixed.
Page 19: * 4th paragraph: In addition because -> In addition, because * 4th paragraph: the book you have -> the book, you have * 5th paragraph: creditable, professional and attractive -> creditable, professional, and attractive
Fixed.
Page 20: * Heading: issue13 -> issue 13 * 2nd paragraph: I say plots rather than plot, -> I say 'plots' rather than 'plot',
Fixed.
Yay! A three-page respite!
Page 24: * At that the members -> At that, the members
Fixed.
* The Spectrum/Amstrad/MSX loading instructions seem a bit sparse.
That's the original text. Those older computers really did load things easily wihtou requiring installation of 2Gb of data to a hard drive. ;-)
* 2nd last paragraph: destroy for ever the power -> destroy forever the power
No, the original is probably correct ('forever destroy' vs. 'destroy for ever'.Page 25: * Invisibility: other you -> other, you * ENDURANCE: endurance -> ENDURANCE (x3) (or Endurance)
Fixed.
Page 26: * How can you "Crouch up"?
It means, stand up from crouching, I think.
* Jump lef -> Jump left * strike legs -> Strike legs
Fixed.
* HINTS AND TIPS: Remove superfluous space at start of second line (x2)
Fixed.
Page 27: * 1st column: thereby, ensuring -> thereby ensuring * 1st column: Magnakai disciplines -> Magnakai Disciplines
Fixed.
* 2nd column: great evil -> great but evil (Is this supposed to be the exact same text as was supplied with the game?)
It's not identical. I think this is OK since 'great' is being used in the pejorative sense.
* 2nd/3rd column: gra nite -> gra-nite
Fixed.
Page 28: * CONTROLS: On Spectrum -> On the Spectrum (Or something similar.)
Fixed.
* 0839 500 819: one and two -> one or two * 0839 500 819: always -> Always * 1st column: oas -> as
Fixed.
* 1st column: There is a paragraph starting "At that the members . . ." that is in the instructions that is missing here.
Obviously excised due to space restrictions. Not changed.
* 1st column: destroy for ever -> destroy forever
Not changed. See above for reasoning.
* Mindshield: indeed -> Indeed * Animal Kinship: Lone wolf -> Lone Wolf * Invisibility: in visible -> in-visible * Invisibility: other you -> other, you * Healing: quest allow -> quest, allow * Healing: injury, or -> injury or * NOTE: often, and -> often and * SEVEN DEMONS: endurance -> ENDURANCE (x2) (or Endurance)
Fixed.
Page 29: * novel Lone -> novel, Lone (And I don't like the use of the word 'novel' here either. It was never released in book form.)
Fixed; though 'novel' remains, despite its inaccuracy.
* the Mirror -> The Mirror (x2)
Disagree--only "The Mirror" when referring to the title of the game, not the object itself (cf. the Kai Monastery).
* power which -> power, which
Unnecessary--the meaning is quite clear without this comma.
* action packed -> action-packed
Fixed.
* What is this "Dezan Groez" thing? It's the first time this name has appeared. It is too different from 'Dhazag-Oud' and 'Gorazh' to be a misspelling of either.
This preview was published two years before the game was released; obviously a lot changed over those two years. It's an interesting insight into the original design, though.
* "The book from which the game is taken is out in Beaver Books" Which book might this be?
Castle Death, presumably; either that, or the hack journo didn't understand the press release. Or maybe the press officer at Beaver/Audiogenic didn't understand the actual non-canonical position of "The Mirror of Death" relating to the gamebooks and assumed there would be a tie-in title written.
Page 31: * I consider myself devoted, but I am not learning Spanish (?) so I can proofread this article.
:-p
I have changed a few bits thanks to someone else's Spanish skills a few months ago.
Page 32: * There's that "Dezan Groez" chap/place again!
And only a year from release! I wonder why this was changed.
* four skills from a seemingly endless selection: There are 8 skills to choose from. <sigh> Speccy users!
With only 128Kb of RAM to store things in, I'm sure YOU would think 8 was a lot! And don't forget, the books themselves had 10, which the journo might have been alluding to.
* these four skills ... decide whether or not you will succeed: No they don't. They just make it easier/harder.
The rules seem to (erroneously) indicate the same thing, though.
* Armed with only a sword: Oh yeah, and those four skills!
Leave the poor guy alone! Maybe he was like Leigh Loveday, writing his commissioned copy at 3AM in the morning because of some insane deadline! :-p
Page 33: * the Lorestone, the Kai gem of power -> a Lorestone, a Kai gem of power
Fixed.
* the Mirror -> The Mirror (x2)
No, only when referring to the game title.
* Remove space before 'firespitting'.
Fixed.
* What is a Daemonak?
Lone Wolf Club Newsletter #5: "They are used as messengers and spies (and sometimes as assassins) by the Darklords of Helgedad. When Darklord Vashna perished as the Maakengorge, some of his Daemonaks survived and took up residence in the ruins of the city of Maaken. They still scout the area and bring back information to the spirit of their master imprisoned in the Chasm of Doom. The one that you encountered in entry no. 168 was one of these vampire scouts."
Page 34: * The mirror of death -> The Mirror of Death * 3rd column: Skills and -> Skills, and * 4th column: energy and -> energy, and
Fixed.
* 5th column: side, annoying -> side, and annoying (maybe)
No, that's quite typical Journo-speak and is acceptable here.
* No page number
Limitation of Word. Not going to change.
Page 36: * Who is this 'Helson' bloke? I don't recall that name coming up in any of the software research.
I'm not sure, but apparently there were other programmers involved in converting the code to run on other systems; my understanding is that he would have been involved in adapting the code for the C64/128.
Page 38: * Weapon Skill -> Weapon Skills * WEAPON SKILL -> WEAPON SKILLS
Fixed.
Page 41: * though.What -> though. What * one, (everso slight untruth) and -> one (everso slight untruth), and * the spirit of the book, -> the spirit of the books,
Fixed.
* You are the Lone Wolf -> You are Lone Wolf * cut off my arm , -> cut off my arm,
Fixed.
* "...destroyed the only family I ever knew and are now having some rather disgusting thoughts about my twin sister..." is a contradiction in terms.
Che. Star Wars fans, eh?
* Your means of reveng? -> Your means of revenge?
Fixed.
* "...the ruler of thine enemy..." is surely in Helgedad, not Kazan-gor.
The Mirror of Death comes with its own canon separate to the gamebooks.
Page 42: * why not read the book? -> why not read the books? * bats -> Krows (x2)
Fixed.
* Other problems caused are the traps -> Other problems caused are by the traps
Removed "caused".
* maybe more have -> maybe more, have * make believe -> make-believe
Fixed.
Am I getting near the end now?
Page 43: * Side panel: 26 "interactive adventure role-playing books" How many LW books had been published as of June 1991?
It's a weird tallying, and not wholly accurate:
15 Lone Wolf gamebooks 1 The Magnamund Companion 4 Grey Star gamebooks 5 Legends of Lone Wolf novels 1 Lone Wolf Poster Painting Book ---- 26 books
I have arbitrarily changed this to 15.
* Side panel: Joe Dever the man -> Joe Dever, the man
Fixed
* There seems to be a larger than normal line space after the first line of the article, between "may" and "not".
Limitation of Word. Reduced, but not fixed.
* RPG's -> RPGs * shoot 'em ups -> shoot-'em-ups * beat 'em ups -> beat-'em-ups
Fixed.
* both factions of computer gamer -> both factions of computer gamers (Maybe? Can you have a faction of size smaller than 1?)
'both computer gamer factions' is OK, so I'm going to leave this unchanged.
* 1st column: grab your sword and smash some skulls -> grab-your-sword-and-smash-some-skulls * 1st column: beat 'em ups -> beat-'em-ups
Fixed.
* 2nd column: by a Mirror of Death -> by The Mirror of Death
the Mirror (not a game title)
* 3rd column: The whole first paragraph, except the word 'keyboard' is misaligned on the left side. (It needs to be moved left.) * 3rd column: game play -> gameplay * 3rd column: psi surge -> Psi Surge * 3rd column: highlander type -> highlander-type
Fixed.
Page 44: * Weapon Skill -> Weapon Skills * Andrea Sez: sit-down-and-shoot the buggers to bits -> sit-down-and-shoot-the-buggers-to-bits
Fixed.
Page 45: * issue 65 -> issue #65
Nope. I haven't used the # in any of the headings.
* 1st column: The Mirror Of Death -> The Mirror of Death * 1st column: roleplaying -> role-playing * 1st column: the (sinister chords) -> The (sinister chords) * 1st column: Mirror Of Death -> Mirror of Death * 1st column: Weapon Skills and Hunting -> Weapon Skills, and Hunting * 2nd column: pesky, Krows -> pesky Krows * 2nd column: Monty On The Run -> Monty on the Run * 3rd column: roleplayer -> role-player * LONE AT HOME, 6: Weapons, Skill, -> Weapons Skills, (2 changes)
Unfixable--text is part of the original image and cannot be altered.
Page 46: * roleplaying -> role-playing * choice!) -> choice!), * The Plague Lords Of Ruel -> The Plague Lords of Ruel
Unfixable--text is part of the original image and cannot be altered.
Page 48: * issue 119 -> issue #119
Nope (see above).
* trousers, carpet and finally -> trousers, carpet, and finally (Serial comma.)
Fixed.
* The minute the trap comes level -> The minute the lift comes level
This might actually be correct; leaving unchanged.
Page 49: * issue 126 -> issue #126
Nope (see above).
* DEMON No 7 -> DEMON No. 7
Actually "no. 2". Fixed.
Did you forget to type "Page 50" here?
* hints, tips 'n' solutions -> hints, tips, 'n' solutions * Humberside both -> Humberside, both
Fixed.
* 2. Kinship, -> 2. Animal Kinship,
In the game, it does use the term "Kinship" instead of Animal Kinship. Not changed.
* 4. Weapon skills -> 4. Weapon Skills
Fixed.
* for invincibility -> or Invisibility (The "for invincibility" is confusing me. I can't see how it fits in. But checking the errata page shows that it was originally "or invincibility".)
It's very straightfoward: Choose [these skills] for invincibility.
Page 50: * issue 67 -> issue #67
Nope (see above).
Really, is this nearly done yet? I'm feeling depressed now.
* 1st paragraph: Tip Of The Month -> Tip of the Month
Fixed.
* No, I did not play through the game to verify the solution! :-p
Nor am I going to do so!
* THE DISCIPLINES: Psi-surge -> Psi Surge * Psi Surge: endurance -> Endurance * Demons: 1-4)and -> 1-4) and
Fixed.
* Demons: Kinship -> Animal Kinship
Not Changed.
* Whirling Blades: endurance -> Endurance (Or ENDURANCE)
Fixed.
Page 52: * Any idea where this advert came from? Does it really matter?
No idea; I found it on the WoS website with no credit. I'm not too worried about it since it could easily have appeared unchanged in many magazines.
* over the fabled Lorestones -> over one of the fabled Lorestones (Even in the universe of TMoD, the back-story clearly establishes that only one Lorestone is in Kazan-Gor.)
Text is part of image. Unchanged.
Page 53: * issue 89 -> issue #89
Nope (see above).
* Is that a big splodge of sticky-tape? And a gaping hole where said sticky-tape was attached?
Yep.
Page 54: * issue 112 -> issue #112
Nope (see above).
* January -> June
Fixed.
* How can they claim a "LONE WOLF EXCLUSIVE" when 'Your Sinclair' had a review the previous month?
It's a World Exclusive for SU readers . . .
Page 55: * Newsletter: the Ice Halls of Terror -> The Ice Halls of Terror (What is the actual name of the game? Is the 'the' part of it?)
No, it is referring to a place, not to the game's title.
* Newsletter: the ICE HALLS OF TERROR -> THE ICE HALLS OF TERROR
Fixed.
* Jon Hare: the Ice Halls of Terror -> The Ice Halls of Terror (Or 'the (sic.) Ice Halls of Terror'?)
No; if he's using Lone Wolf as part of the title, 'the' should not be capitalised (cf. Fire on the Water vs. The Darke Crusade)
* Jon Hare: spectrum -> Spectrum (Or 'spectrum (sic.)'?)
Spectrum. Fixed.
* Jon Hare: Sorcerer and -> Sorcerer, and (Or another (sic.) Also, is that how 'Sorcerer' was spelt in the game title?)
That may have been the game title. I'll leave this alone.
* Is there a credit for that image?
No. It's from Newsletter SS85.
Page 56: * Issue #?
Unknown. My own collection doesn't go back that far, and sometimes they published 13 issues a year, so I can't reliably work it out.
* header: gamesworld -> games world * header: reason -> reasons
Fixed.
* 1st column: Are we sure that is 'Judge Death' and not 'Judge Dread'?
That's what the text says, and I have no way of verifying against the original game--it was never released! ;-) Unchanged.
* 1st column: Death. -> Death, * 1st column: and. even -> and, even
OCR artefacts. Fixed.
* 1st column: spent on add support -> spent on ad support
I don't know what the original intent was, but ad support is the best I can come up with. Fixed.
* 1st column: Nightmare On Elm Street -> Nightmare on Elm Street
Fixed.
* 2nd column: U.S. Golf -> U.S. Gold
Heh heh!
* 2nd column: U.S.G -> U.S. Gold (or 'U.S.G.')
Fixed.
* 4th column: Blazing Barrels and Savage -> Blazing Barrels, and Savage * Picture caption: as of Jimmy -> as Jimmy
Fixed.
Page 57: * 2nd column: Pallidin -> Paladin (x2)
I think that's their spelling; leaving unchanged.
* 2nd column: developing these thing -> developing these things
Fixed.
* 3rd column: Remove italics on 'Dynamite Debugger'. (It seems from the rest of the article that the rule is to italicise a game title the first time it is used, and never again after that.)
Fixed.
* 3rd column: even gang to the extent -> even going to the extent
Fixed.
* 3rd column: who's who -> Who's Who (And maybe italicise?)
Fixed.
* 3rd column: "The Dandy's many characters" is a plural noun. The following two sentences use verbs that refer to it in the singular.
It's a bit poor grammatically, but it is easily understandable that he is talking about an eponymous game based on the comic The Dandy. Leaving unchanged.
Page 58: * The errata for 'The Mirror of Death instructions' seems inconsistent (less specific) with most other entries.
Fixed.
* Sinclair User #112, 6th line: with it -> with 'it
Fixed. Though I've no doubt introduced many more into the Errata pages. Yes, PageS. Because of all these issues, the Errata is now on two pages.
Ok, aside from Simon, who made it this far?
I bet no one.
I'm glad that's over. A revised LW_S file will be available soon.
-- Simon Osborne
