[projectaon] Re: Grand Master comment period [Book 13]
- From: Chris Neilson <crusty.chris@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 10 May 2012 10:09:12 +1200
On Wed, 2012-05-09 at 11:46 -0700, Jonathan Blake wrote:
> >> (er) 260: Palmyrion plain -> Palmyrion Plain
> >
> > Not necessarily. You're assuming the plain is named, "The Palmyrion
> > Plain." The author may just be referring to the plain in Palymyrion;
> > like, "the plains of Kansas." Failing a second mention in the text
> > or on a map, I'm inclined to leave this, as is.
>
> Then wouldn't it be "the Palmyrion plains" or "the plains of
> Palmyrion"? If there was such a place as the Kansas plain then I think
> it would be "the Kansas Plain".
>
Kansas Plains? you mean part of the Great Plains?
both these plains are in their plural form because they are made up of
multiple smaller plain-like regions.
> >> (er) 284: [so: Revise the options layout as per recent discussion
> >> regarding Book 8.]
> >
> > Can-of-worms worth of work? :)
>
> I haven't heard back whether everyone is OK with the following option
> which is pretty close to the original:
>
> ~~~~~
> If you do not possess this Grand Master Discipline, you can
> investigate either the east tunnel by turning to 118 ...
>
> or the west tunnel by turning to 189.
> ~~~~~
I do not like this.
>
> The other option proposed was:
>
> ~~~~~
> If you do not possess this Grand Master Discipline, you can
> investigate either the east tunnel by turning to 118
>
> ... or the west tunnel by turning to 189.
> ~~~~~
Or this.
>
> The second option makes it obvious that the last choice is a
> continuation of the previous one, but it makes me feel like the
> previous one is missing end punctuation.
>
> We could go whole hog:
>
> ~~~~~
> If you do not possess this Grand Master Discipline, you can
> investigate either the east tunnel by turning to 118.
>
> Or you can investigate the west tunnel by turning to 189.
> ~~~~~
My vote is on this puppy :)
It seems to me that the standard way of presenting options is:
<conditional statement> <comma> "turn to X" <fullstop>
Although occasionally it is presented like this (although usually as the
last option in multi-option situations):
<conditional statement> <comma> <action> "by turning to X" <fullstop>
However, in some of the earlier books (eg 01fftd/sec124, 01fftd/sect109,
03tcok/sect298) you get:
<option one> by "turning to X" <fullstop>
"Or"/"Alternatively"/some sort of similar word <option two> "by turning
to Y" <fullstop>
There is an interesting anomaly with 03tcok/sect330.
However there is a similar situation to this one in 04tcod/sect254.
So based on this I would suggest option 3:
If you possess Grand Huntmastery, turn to 49.
If you do not possess this Grand Master Discipline, you can investigate
the east tunnel by turning to 118.
Alternatively/Or you can investigate the west tunnel by turning to 189.
As a spanner in the works you could replace it with the following
(afterall you can only chose option 2 or 3 if you dont have Grand
Huntsmastery):
If you possess Grand Huntmastery, turn to 49.
If you wish to investigate the east tunnel, turn to 118.
If you would rather explore the west tunnel, turn to 189.
Or:
If you possess Grand Huntmastery, turn to 49.
If you do not possess this Grand Master Discipline, and wish to
investigate the east tunnel, turn to 118.
If you do not possess this Grand Master Discipline, and would rather
explore the west tunnel, turn to 189.
~~~~~~
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