On Tue, Apr 10, 2012 at 4:00 AM, Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: > On 10/04/2012 00:15, Jonathan Blake wrote: >> >> On Fri, Apr 6, 2012 at 4:19 PM, Jonathan Blake<jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> >> wrote: >> >>> I'll work on putting together >>> some diffs for the GM books soon. >> >> >> Done. >> >> http://projectaon.org/staff/jonathan/diffs/ > > > BOOK 13: > > (er) 22: scrabbling his throat -> scrabbling at his throat I don't use "scrabble". Is it incorrect to use it without the "at"? > (er) 35, 153, 201: A patrol of six Vazhag file into the cavern [so: Should > this be "...files..."?] In this case I think it should be. Any objections? > (er) 50: plague virus, and its vaccine, are being -> plague virus and its > vaccine are being fixed > (ne) 71: hurtle through air -> hurtle through the air fixed > (er) 111: A vast procession of partially-clad soldiers are being -> [so: > "...is being..."?] I think we can leave this as-is. > (er) 185: spell--Lightning Hand--as -> spell <spell>Lightning Hand</spell> > as fixed > (er) 191: The chain glances your [so: Should this be "glances off your"? If > so, this has a knock-on effect to other instances where it is used in this > way.] I think it's OK as-is. > (er) 260: Palmyrion plain -> Palmyrion Plain fixed > (ne) 284: [so: Lose the comma before the ellipsis.] fixed > (er) 284: [so: Revise the options layout as per recent discussion regarding > Book 8.] What about changing the last two choices to the following? ~~~~~ If you do not possess this Grand Master Discipline, you can investigate either the east tunnel by turning to 118 -- or the west tunnel by turning to 189. ~~~~~ > (er) 290: Another curse, and -> He speaks another curse, and [so: Maybe.] I'm ambivalent. Your suggestion is clearer and more grammatical, but the original might be clear enough. Any other opinions? > (er) 324: forearm and -> forearm, and [so: Serial comma?] I separated it into two sentences: "He lunges. You deflect his weak attack with your right forearm and counter it with a left hook...". > You might also want to do a search in 13tplor for instances of ", and" since > there might be a few occasions where the comma could be lost, going by > recent adjustments to comma usage. Any context in particular? It would take quite a while to go through all the false positives on that search. :) Thanks, Simon. -- Jon ~~~~~~ Manage your subscription at //www.freelists.org/list/projectaon