[projectaon] Re: Grand Master comment period [Book 13]
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 10 Apr 2012 12:00:58 +0100
On 10/04/2012 00:15, Jonathan Blake wrote:
On Fri, Apr 6, 2012 at 4:19 PM, Jonathan Blake<jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I'll work on putting together
some diffs for the GM books soon.
Done.
http://projectaon.org/staff/jonathan/diffs/
BOOK 13:
(er) 22: scrabbling his throat -> scrabbling at his throat
(er) 35, 153, 201: A patrol of six Vazhag file into the cavern [so:
Should this be "...files..."?]
(er) 50: plague virus, and its vaccine, are being -> plague virus and
its vaccine are being
(ne) 71: hurtle through air -> hurtle through the air
(er) 111: A vast procession of partially-clad soldiers are being -> [so:
"...is being..."?]
(er) 185: spell--Lightning Hand--as -> spell <spell>Lightning
Hand</spell> as
(er) 191: The chain glances your [so: Should this be "glances off your"?
If so, this has a knock-on effect to other instances where it is used in
this way.]
(er) 260: Palmyrion plain -> Palmyrion Plain
(ne) 284: [so: Lose the comma before the ellipsis.]
(er) 284: [so: Revise the options layout as per recent discussion
regarding Book 8.]
(er) 290: Another curse, and -> He speaks another curse, and [so: Maybe.]
(er) 324: forearm and -> forearm, and [so: Serial comma?]
You might also want to do a search in 13tplor for instances of ", and"
since there might be a few occasions where the comma could be lost,
going by recent adjustments to comma usage.
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
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