Apologies. Have run out of puff. Will attempt feedback on rest of wk 3 poems
first thing tomorrow(& send my poem to u, Wahibe). Thanks for your sensitive,
detailed feedback thus far. Much appreciation and learning from everyone ones
responses on all the poems.
Sent from my iPhone
On 2 Feb 2019, at 4:07 pm, jvbirch (Redacted sender "jvbirch" for DMARC)
This is very powerful. You’ve captured such a raw event perfectly with such
subtlety. The layout is effective, the tercets split with orphaned lines as
statements. The poem is punctuated with vivid images – ‘A sunflower at half
price’, ‘Her face heavy with makeup’, ‘He steals words from the city’,
‘Wearing daisies and sandals’ and ‘Searching for the ghost of her passing’.
You may want to consider ending the poem here as this really is a haunting
line that partners the title.
Thank you for sharing this
From: Kirsten Shan Krauth
Sent: Friday, 1 February 2019 12:40 PM
Subject: [poetryseason2] Re: week 2 - place
Here is my poem for Week 2 on Place. Feel free to skip it as I know everyone
has moved on!
I’m looking forward to reading yours from Week 2 - heading there now!