Hi Ian
A great poem with a very fitting title. And so much to love:
‘I slip on bruised-banana overalls tasting their smokey chestnut grime’
‘out here racing the purple night’s evening star’
‘you could be surfing that rush on the back of your beast looking for the glow’
‘the burnt lost soul of summer snow floating in ash and ember’
‘crack open the dark shell and find a molten orange yolk spitcursing your
discovery’
The last was my favourite, but wonder if you could lose ‘orange’ as molten
evokes the colour and replace ‘discovery’ with ‘find’ to be punchier? Just a
thought. The claustrophobia of the kitchen is effective and the ending
brilliant.
Julie
From: Ian Gostelow
Sent: Thursday, 17 January 2019 7:18 PM
To: poetryseason2@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [poetryseason2] fireflight
Hi all;
Good to be here, trust your all enjoying the summer….. here’s my first effort
from those hot nights earlier in the week.
Regards;
Ian Gostelow
ian.gostelow@xxxxxxxxxxx
MB: 0439850967
