(After: In the stacks) Kieran turned away from the bar with a frown that exceeded even his typical expectations. The street outside was sparsely populated ? mainly with straggling cadets heading one way or another to or from the academy ? but one figure stood out. Stationary, and staring at him thoughtfully as he emerged, she narrowed her eyes as he emerged and smiled an overly large smile that merely deepened the furrow between his eyebrows. ?Do you ever smile?? she asked, stepping up closer, reaching out a finger to poke at the wrinkles of skin on his forehead. ?Every third Tuesday.? He dead-panned, quite openly bringing out his tricorder to sweep over her. ?Yes, yes, it?s me? all your chronitons. If you had the time you?d find tachyons, Bauser muons and some things you people don?t even have names for yet ? they?re a very pretty yellow, by the way.? ?So you are the focus of some sort of temporal distortion?? ?Very good, Cadet. Go to?? she paused, frowning herself a little. ?Oh, now Santos? why won?t any of you stay where I put you?? ?We don?t like to be controlled. Life is change, and living is changing.? ?Have you been practising that?? ?Don?t ask the question if you aren?t sure you?ll like all the possible answers.? She stepped backwards ? except it wasn?t really /backwards/. It wasn?t towards her back, so much as it was away from reality? or at least the semblance of reality in which they?d been dwelling. Featureless, endless white surrounded them ? although he hadn?t stepped with her ? and after a second even the ghostly after-images of the students about them had gone. Departing the illusion appeared to release whatever mental block had been in place, and the realisation of where he?d been ? and when ? flooded in along with the rest of his memories. ?Qbed.? He sighed, the frown disappearing for a moment as a haunted look drifted across behind his eyes. ?Surprise!? she offered, after a moment, a brief flurry of streamers and confetti raining down amidst the featureless surroundings ? they disappeared before they reached the floor. ?Apparently.? ?Oh, Kieran!? She feigned irritation. ?Most people spend years of their lives trying to live their adolescence again.? ?I am not, as I?m sure just about anyone will tell you, ?most people?.? ?You didn?t seem to be enjoying life.? She admitted. ?What?s the problem?? ?It?s not a period of my life that I particularly enjoyed. I?d been engaged, and she? left. We were young, foolish ? some of us more foolish than others ? and vulnerable? some of us more vulnerable than others.? ?You were young, you had your whole life ahead of you? you still do. Get up and?? she trailed off, gnawing gently at the inside of her cheek for a moment, but Kieran didn?t notice, lost in his own reverie. ?I can?t believe I threw so much time away?? he shook his head gently, eyes far away. ?Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and Death shall have no dominion.? ?What?? ?The eulogy, it?s by Dylan Thomas ? it?s about realising that the capacity for emotion is what makes us people, not the emotion itself. Losing a loved one doesn?t isn?t the end, but losing love ? I don?t think I really appreciated it before.? ?Wow? that sounds so dull?? She finally managed, shrugging off the look he gave her. ?So what was all this about, then?? he asked, looking about for some sign of the pretence she?d had them in. ?And where are we anyway?? ?Well, I find myself in the same situation as you were, it seems. My ?significant other? has been carousing with someone else.? ?Well you did erase our memory of you, and everything after the academy.? He pointed out. ?Before this? back on that planet with all the old versions of you.? ?They weren?t real, they were holo-projections based on? is that what this is all about? You?re jealous? You leave, traipse off around who only knows where? and expect Sam to be waiting for you when you get back?? ?Damn right!? He tilted his head a little, eyeing her askance as he tried to judge whether her vehemence was genuine or just another part of whatever obscure ruse this might be. ?And the fact that, in actual fact, he?d done no such thing, so far as I know doesn?t make this all seem a little foolish?? ?No?? she offered, with significantly less certainty. ?Would you consider a romantic attachment with me?? he finally asked. ?No!? Her eyes widened a little at the idea, and then more at the realisation of how blunt the answer had been. ?Sorry? but? you?re? well, you?re a bit?? ?Conservative?? ?Boring.? She corrected. ?Sorry, got to call them as you see them.? ?You want someone with a bit more life, a bit more ?get up and go?, like Sam?? ?Well? among other things.? ?Then isn?t it a little short-sighted to be upset, if you like his ?get up and go?, that when you departed he ?got up and went??? ?You don?t pull any punches, do you?? ?Got to call them like you see them.? He countered, before the white started to fade to grey, and he found himself stood in the empty officer?s mess of the Vanguard, staring around at various half-finished meals, with a vague, fading echo chasing him back to reality. ?Right, then, Captain?.? --------------------------------- ALL-NEW Yahoo! Messenger - all new features - even more fun! ************************************************************* USS Vanguard: http://ncv80221.netfirms.com/default.htm Vanguard Archives: //www.freelists.org/archives/ncv80221 FreeLists: //www.freelists.org Trying to contact the USS Vanguard managers? 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