[mdmars_staff] Fw: The 2008 Darwin Awards:

  • From: "Tony AAT3FG" <aat3fg@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "MDC Staff" <mdmars_staff@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:34:52 +0000

I'll bet we have some candidates for next year's awards in our midst....Hi.  


Subject: The 2008 Darwin Awards:

 Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards 
 are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
 Here is the glorious winner:
 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended 
 victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber 
 James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered 
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
 And now, the honorable mentions:
 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- 
 cutting machine and,  submitted a 
claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, 
 sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the 
 machine, and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car 
 during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a 
 woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus 
 driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be 
 transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to 
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and 
 offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the 
 passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the 
 patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The 
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious 
 head wounds received from being hit by an oncoming train. When 
asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was 
 simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving 
 train before he was hit.
 6 A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the 
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash 
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the 
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cashfrom the 
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash 
he got from the drawer.. $15. [If someone 
 points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided 
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,grab some 
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at 
the window. The cinder block bounced back and 
 hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The 
 liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was 
caught on videotape.
 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man 
 grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and 
the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the 
snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. 
 They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was 
 then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive 
 ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady 
 I stole the purse from"

 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into 
 a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and 
 demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he 
 couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man 
 ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for 
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY 

 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home 
 parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained 
 for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up 
 next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said 
 that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his 
 siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The 
 owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was 
 the best laugh he'd ever had.

 In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your 
 friends and family... unless of course one of these individuals by 
 chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be 
 glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

 *** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***

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