[lit-ideas] Re: query

  • From: "John McCreery" <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 30 May 2006 15:12:17 +0900

On 5/30/06, John McCreery <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

How about Tom Lehrer, famous for such hit tunes as

"Poisoning pigeons in the park" and, on nuclear war, "We will all go
together when we go..."

???


P.S. Good stuff on Lehrer at

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer

P.P.S. The lyrics are available at

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/allgo.htm

Here, along with some introductory patter is "We will all go together
when we go."

I am reminded at this point of a fellow I used to know whose name was
Henry, only to give you an idea of what a individualist he was, he
spelled it H-E-N-3-R-Y. The three was silent, you see.

Henry was financially independent, having inherited his father's
tar-and-feather business, and was therefore able to devote his full
time to such intellectual pursuits as writing. I particularly remember
a heartwarming novel of his about a young necrophiliac who finally
achieved his boyhood ambition by becoming coroner. ... (scattered
laughter) The rest of you can look it up when you get home.

In addition to writing, he indulged in a good deal of philosophizing.
Like so many contemporary philosophers, he especially enjoyed giving
helpful advice to people who were happier than he was. And one
particular bit of advice which I recall - which is the reason I bring
up this whole dreary story - is something he said once, before they
took him away to the Massachusetts State Home for the Bewildered.

He said: "Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on
what you put into it." It's always seemed to me that this is precisely
the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need
today in these trying time of crisis and universal brouhaha. And so
with this in mind, I have here a modern, positive, dynamic, uplifting
song, in the tradition of the great old revival hymns. This one might
more accurately be termed a survival hymn. It goes like this:

When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that sooner or'l
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other adjec-
Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.
(But don't you worry.)

No more ashes, no more sackcloth,
And an arm band made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve.
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.

And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we will all go together when we go.

We will all go together when we go.
All suffused with an incandescent glow.
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go.

Oh we will all fry together when we fry.
We'll be French fried potatoes by and by.
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie,
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.

Down by the old maelstrom,
There'll be a storm before the calm.

And we will all bake together when we bake.
There'll be nobody present at the wake.
With complete participation
In that grand incineration,
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.

Oh we will all char together when we char.
And let there be no moaning of the bar.
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that I.C.B.M.,*
And the party will be come-as-you-are.

Oh, we will all burn together when we burn.
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn.
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out,
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.

You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas.
Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollahs.

And we will all go together when we go.
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo.
When the air becomes uranious,
We will all go simultaneous.
Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together,
Yes we all will go together when we go.


-- John McCreery The Word Works, Ltd., Yokohama, JAPAN

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