[lit-ideas] Re: [lit-ideas] [lit-ideas] RE: [lit-ideas] Re: [lit-ideas] RE: [lit-ideas] Life’s Stains
- From: david ritchie <profdritchie@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 13 Apr 2019 20:54:34 -0700
On Apr 13, 2019, at 12:19 AM, John McCreery <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
The most important thing I learned from my daughter was that children would
always surprise their parents. By the second half of the 20th century, the
notion that a child would simply follow its parent’s example and live a
similar life was ludicrous. The world was changing too fast.
John
I’m tempted to try a story on you all. In my world there are rumors of an
impending marriage. When I married I thought there might be some point in a
conversation with my future father-in law. Neither my father-in-law nor I knew
quite what that point might be. They were “let’s make a new future” types, New
Yorkers who had moved to San Diego in order to discard most of their past. I
have no idea how such a conversation went, but he was pleased with the nod to
tradition and the whole deal worked somehow.
My daughter asked if, under similar circumstances, I’d like to have a
conversation with her intended. I said, without thinking, “that might be
good.” So then I had to think through what a conversation between an almost
son-in-law and myself might be about. Obviously there’s no issue of
permission. Why would I have a say in who she chooses to live with? And I
can’t do the, “if you harm my daughter in any way Big Julie will be around with
their baseball bat, with designs upon your knees,” kind of speech. That’s not
the world I live in. So, what? I decided that if/when it happens we’ll be
trying to get past the limits of inter-generational male conversation. At
present he and I discuss cars, sport, engineering…manly but not lit-ideas kinds
of stuff. If you wise people have advice, I’d be happy to read it.
David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon
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