Mike: I believe that I would keep such information as secret as I could just because I wouldn't want to be wrapped up in the Cling Wrap of pity and stored safely away from the give and take of relationships.
When my father learned that he was dying, he waited a week before telling me. I'm glad he told me so quickly. Far from creating a "wrap of pity", his decision allowed him to convene a series of family meetings that enabled us to understand his wishes and carry them out. I was able to give him home hospice care and take care of him in the final months. I held his hand as he died. Among other things, his prompt honesty gave me the comfort of knowing that I had honored him with my best efforts to fulfill his wishes.
Given my personal experience, the "keep 'em in the dark" method strikes me as a final insult to the living. After all, one's parents are long aware of, and present at, one's birth ... so why should one be denied the loving respect of presence in things turning full circle?
A cheerful rapidly-aging mammal, Eric ------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html
