[lit-ideas] Re: Wednesday Poem

  • From: Eric Yost <eyost1132@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 20:03:03 -0400

Judith Evans wrote:

Here's another vote for the line.

This is why Plato thought democracy such a bad idea.

____________

Dear Mr. Plato:

Thank you for your recent application for a MasterCard from Febrile Bank. Our goal at Febrile is to help you enjoy financial freedom -- through estate planning, planned giving, deferred annuities, annual deferments, fiduciary arrangements, and our special line of credit cards. When it comes to your financial future, Febrile never has cold feet!

Our staff has identified several errors in your application, which we have outlined below. Please complete and return the enclosed form and you'll be on your way to earning MegaPower Points with a new Save-as-You-Shop MasterCard.

1. Name:  Plato.

Your first name and middle initial are required. Write it exactly as you wish the name to appear on your card. ____________________

2. Employment: philosopher.

This term does not match any of the terms in our employment profiles. If you are a teacher, write teacher; if you are a bioethicist or other specialist, write "consultant" in the space provided. __________________

3. Mother's Maiden Name: Wife of Ariston.

Please provide your mother's complete maiden name, in the form first name/middle initial/last name in the space provided below. ____________________

4. Military Service: hoplite.

Please indicate in which branch of the armed forces you served and your discharge date in the space provided below. ____________________

5. Which special offers from Febrile do you wish to receive: To love rightly is to love what is orderly and beautiful in an educated and disciplined way.

Please check the appropriate boxes in the form provided with this letter. Febrile will be glad to send you information and special offers that meet your financial needs!

6. Password: Democracy passes into despotism and rule by the stupid. This form is unacceptable, proving my point that democratic institutions foster conflict and disagreement. You will give me a credit card now for surely I have provided you with enough information. How can you now ask me for a secret word after I have justly complied with your requests and explained myself?

Please select a 6-12 digit password with at least one numeral. ____________________

7. Re-enter Password: People have their natural place and yours is to serve me. Send me a credit card now! I will have none of your sophistical and esoteric rituals. Do my bidding.

Please re-enter the password you have selected. ____________________

8. Do you wish to donate $1 to the Britney Spears Literacy Foundation: Being self-taught, philosopher-kings will not be expected to show any gratitude for a culture which they have never received.

Please check the box in the form provided with this letter.


At Febrile, we are eager to serve you, Mr. Plato. Save with our low interest rate Save-as-You-Shop MasterCard with MegaPower Points. Our great cardmember benefits will help you establish your credit history at the same time. 0% Introductory APR on all purchases and balance transfers for up to 2 months; Earn 1 MegaPower Point per ten dollars spent in net purchases over $20,000; No annual fee, except for the annual introductory $129.95 start-up and service charge.


We look forward to helping you save as part of the Febrile family of financial services.

Regards,

Haywood Craven
Vice President Customer Relations
Febrile North America








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