[lit-ideas] Re: Wednesday Poem
- From: Eric Yost <eyost1132@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 20:03:03 -0400
Judith Evans wrote:
Here's another vote for the line.
This is why Plato thought democracy such a bad idea.
Dear Mr. Plato:
Thank you for your recent application for a MasterCard from
Febrile Bank. Our goal at Febrile is to help you enjoy
financial freedom -- through estate planning, planned
giving, deferred annuities, annual deferments, fiduciary
arrangements, and our special line of credit cards. When it
comes to your financial future, Febrile never has cold feet!
Our staff has identified several errors in your application,
which we have outlined below. Please complete and return the
enclosed form and you'll be on your way to earning MegaPower
Points with a new Save-as-You-Shop MasterCard.
1. Name: Plato.
Your first name and middle initial are required. Write it
exactly as you wish the name to appear on your card.
2. Employment: philosopher.
This term does not match any of the terms in our employment
profiles. If you are a teacher, write teacher; if you are a
bioethicist or other specialist, write "consultant" in the
space provided. __________________
3. Mother's Maiden Name: Wife of Ariston.
Please provide your mother's complete maiden name, in the
form first name/middle initial/last name in the space
provided below. ____________________
4. Military Service: hoplite.
Please indicate in which branch of the armed forces you
served and your discharge date in the space provided below.
5. Which special offers from Febrile do you wish to receive:
To love rightly is to love what is orderly and beautiful
in an educated and disciplined way.
Please check the appropriate boxes in the form provided with
this letter. Febrile will be glad to send you information
and special offers that meet your financial needs!
6. Password: Democracy passes into despotism and rule by the
stupid. This form is unacceptable, proving my point that
democratic institutions foster conflict and disagreement.
You will give me a credit card now for surely I have
provided you with enough information. How can you now ask me
for a secret word after I have justly complied with your
requests and explained myself?
Please select a 6-12 digit password with at least one
7. Re-enter Password: People have their natural place and
yours is to serve me. Send me a credit card now! I will have
none of your sophistical and esoteric rituals. Do my bidding.
Please re-enter the password you have selected.
8. Do you wish to donate $1 to the Britney Spears Literacy
Foundation: Being self-taught, philosopher-kings will not be
expected to show any gratitude for a culture which they have
Please check the box in the form provided with this letter.
At Febrile, we are eager to serve you, Mr. Plato. Save with
our low interest rate Save-as-You-Shop MasterCard with
MegaPower Points. Our great cardmember benefits will help
you establish your credit history at the same time. 0%
Introductory APR on all purchases and balance transfers for
up to 2 months; Earn 1 MegaPower Point per ten dollars spent
in net purchases over $20,000; No annual fee, except for the
annual introductory $129.95 start-up and service charge.
We look forward to helping you save as part of the Febrile
family of financial services.
Vice President Customer Relations
Febrile North America
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