>>One don at my college had sex with each of the three females who got Firsts one year, in the same evening.<<
[SCENE: BEDROOM OF PROFESSOR TOFF. THREE COLLEGE WOMEN SITTING ON TOFF'S SHAPELESS SOFA. THE WOMAN ON THE RIGHT END OF THE SOFA, CARLA, HAS BEEN CRYING. TOFF ENTERS, LOCKING THE BEDROOM DOOR.]
Toff, PhD: Jacques Barzun is dead to us. So is Frank Kermode. Doctor Moe Green. Lecturer Slacci. Librarian Zizek. Today I settled all college business so don't tell me that you're innocent. Admit what you did.
[Carla starts sobbing]Toff, PhD: One you two get her a drink. Don't be afraid, Carla. Come on, you think I'd make my student a failure? I'm don at your son's college.
[The two young college women jump up together and run toward the bar, offstage right. Crashes followed by cursing. They return quickly with a tray of cocktails. One hands Carla a drink]
Toff, PhD: Go ahead. Drink. Drink. No, you're out of my seminar on 20th century critical thought, that's your punishment. You're finished. You'll have to graduate with a degree in culture studies. I'm putting you on a plane to Vegas. Donal?
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