[lit-ideas] The Tamed Kitten
- From: Jlsperanza@xxxxxxx
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 31 May 2010 21:22:59 EDT
Aparently she was born "Katzen". Missed this wiki entry.
She was "born Esther Margareta Katzen (September 16, 1935 in Buenos Aires,
Argentina) is a German-Argentinian writer."
"She trained and practised as a medical doctor before establishing herself
as an author. She is best known for her 1971 book The Manipulated Man"
with the hands. He is manipulated with the hands. She fails to make this
explicit.
"and its various follow-ups, which argue that, contrary to common feminist
and women's rights rhetoric, women in industrialized cultures are not
oppressed, but rather exploit a well-established system of manipulating men."
"Vilar's parents were German-Jewish emigrants." No. That's NOT an oxymoron!
But it may explain some of her problems as she saw them in papa (or mama).
"The Manipulated Man was quite popular at the time of its release, in part
due to the considerable press coverage it received. (She) also appeared on
The Tonight Show to discuss the book."
And I once presented a paper at a philosophy colloquium. I would find
myself appearing on the Tonight Show as rude.
"Controversy surrounding the book's main tenets led to the author receiving
death threats in connection with them. In fact, comparative to Salman
Rushdie's experience, she has reported that she has received decades of scorn:
'So I hadn't imagined broadly enough the isolation I would find myself in
after writing this book. Nor had I envisaged the consequences which it
would have for subsequent writing and even for my private life - violent
threats have not ceased to this date.
- Esther Vilar, August 1998'
THIS *IS* SAD. Why can't people just criticise her LEGALLY?
"The main idea behind the book is that women are not oppressed by men, but
rather control men in a relationship that is to their advantage but which
most men are not aware of.
Some of the strategies described in her books are:
Lure men with sex, using Seduction Strategies. As her famous quote goes"
as per below"
Katzen:
"Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov
conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for
their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's vagina."
Oddly, 'period' means the rule OF the vagina.
"Young boys are encouraged to be sexually uninhibited and associate their
masculinity with their ability to be sexually intimate with a woman. Young
girls however are raised to be sexually inhibited, and trained to believe
that their self-image is negatively affected by sexual intimacy with men. As
a result, girls grow up in an environment where men are actively and openly
desiring sex, while women are not. A woman thus socially empowers herself
to be the gate-keeper to a man's sense of masculinity."
And Vilar is NOT my idea of masculinity!
"Young boys are also discouraged from masturbation by the use of guilt and
shame (i.e. "I guess you're going back home to your hand tonight"),"
Well, see.
Speranza, "Self-Tamed Kittens, or the sad story of a self-manipulated
female".
"while girls face no such negative emotions with masturbation. This form of
emotional chastity is an attempt to cause men to shirk away from
masturbation as a form of sexual release, and seek it exclusively with women.
The
motive for such an attempt comes from the fact that "sexual intimacy" (male
desire) is on a lower priority than "security of resources" (female desire).
However, "sexual release" is on a higher priority than both. Therefore, it
is an attempt to shift power from men to women by limiting male sexual
release via women exclusively."
Plus, they can FEIGN orgasm. (I hope she quotes me on that).
"Seemingly innocuous statements act as a means for women to conditionally
engage in sexual intimacy as either reward or punishment for good or bad
behavior; as opposed to simply pleasing the needs of one's partner. Women
contend that they will be able to have sex when "in the mood", but will be
unable to do so when "not in the mood". However, these statements are more
clearly noted as "when you behave the way I want, then I'm in the mood and you
will be rewarded with sex" and "when you don't behave the way I want, then
I'm not in the mood and you will be punished by me withholding sex"."
I thought the keyword was "headache". And I'm Wittgensteinian there, "I
have a headache" is incorrigible.
"Therefore, they simply act as a means of controlling their partner and
conditioning their behavior to cater to their needs.
Use praise to control men by administering it carefully.
From a very early age, men are conditioned by both girls and their mothers
to conform to social definitions and norms which women construct with
their needs in mind. These definitions have one common element; they overplay
the notion of a girl being emotionally and physically weaker than a boy, and
a man being stronger than a woman."
The sad is when strong males join in: Geary, in his offensive, "Men ent
weak".
"As a result, they use this excuse to give license to a woman to construct
rules between the sexes that cater exclusively to her needs while ignoring
any male needs.
The most common example is that of chivalry, dating etiquette and manners;
all of which mandate that a man cater exclusively to a woman's needs while
ignoring his own. A man is expected to first approach a woman, initiate a
date, and initiate more intimate contact while bearing all risk of
rejection. A man is also expected to pay for the cost of dating and
maintaining the
relationship, help a woman out of a car, open her door, take her coat, pull
out her chair, help her sit, walk behind her while walking up the stairs
in the event she falls, walk on the traffic-side of the sidewalk, and help
her in other things she could normally do by herself. When a man does this,
he is rewarded with praise by being called a "gentleman" or "well-mannered"
and "knowing how to treat a woman". However, when he fails to cater
exclusively to her needs, he is not praised, and in some instances is even
scolded or vilified.
When a man sacrifices his personal life and passions so that his wife may
stay home while he works to provide the costs of a household all by
himself, he is rewarded with praise by being called "a good husband". However,
if
the man were to do the same thing as the wife, he would be called "a loser"
or "a lazy bum"".
This is changing. A male nanny is now called a manny.
"When a man helps with the burden of household chores and raising the
children, he is called a "good father". However, if he is the sole working
parent and he does not help out with the children, he is labeled a "bad
father".
Praise is never given to a man when he accomplishes something that does
not cater to a woman's needs. Praise is only given to a man when a woman's
needs are met in some way. Otherwise, any activity that does not cater to her
needs is not praiseworthy."
I can't see that Grice's philosophical publications were done to praise
Mrs. Grice!
"Use emotional blackmail as a means of controlling men.
Boys are discouraged from crying, and learn to control their tear ducts at
a very early age. When an event causes a man to cry, it is because the
emotional reaction makes it impossible for him to control his tear ducts.
However, girls are not discouraged from crying, and can control their tear
ducts much the same way any person can control their bladder to pee when
desired."
Don't cry for me -- she thus addressed that to the FEMALES in the crowd.
"Therefore, when men see extreme emotion in women, they believe that this
emotion is real as opposed to artificial (acting/fake).
As a result, women will often engage in displays of overly-dramatized
emotional reactions to attempt to control men and get their way; much the same
way they did as children when they were little girls. These displays
include crying, whining, yelling, nagging, and being distant and silent until
their demands are met.
By the same token, women will often try and make a man feel ashamed, bad
or guilty for behavior that the woman does not agree to. For instance, if a
man does not comply to her set of dating rules, she might call him a "jerk"
or label him "cheap". She may try to vilify him and make him feel bad
about his sexuality. She will scold him for seeing other women, but will
expect
him to "wait until she's ready" before they have sex."
She does NOT live in Buenos Aires. I expect some quaint village on the
Rhine!
"This is an attempt to make certain that the man has no other means to sex
or sexual intimacy but her, and then, to sexually starve him and use sex as
a reward for good behavior; such as saying "I love you" or making a
relationship official and other acts of commitment. She may even tell him that
she has a one month rule, and if he will not agree to that, then he "doesn't
respect her"; as this allows her to ignore his desires and rid herself of
any pressure to respect him.
Women will also assert a sense of moral superiority over men in an attempt
to suggest that all things female are right and all things male are wrong.
References to the violent tendencies of a few men will be used to support
such an argument. However, careful examination of the entire male population
clearly fails to lend such support to an argument that depends on
cherry-picking. An overall view of the entire female population on the other
hand
shows perversion of sex as a tool to be used in a manner identical to a
prostitute, selfishness, self-serving intentions and motives, lack of care or
consideration for their romantic partner, a disgusting lack of empathy and
love, laziness, lack of genuine ambition and thirst for creativity and
knowledge."
Many argentines will agree on that. -- so her death threats she must have
received from FEMALE readers!
"Nevertheless, men are conditioned from a very early age to agree to the
view as women as "the fairer sex".
Use of love and romance as a guise to mask her real intentions and motives.
Women will often refer to tradition and concepts of love and romance to
get men to comply to their demands. Since concepts of love and romance are
associated with "goodness" and "morality", while sex is labeled "bad",
"dirty" and "immoral"; women condition men to consider female needs an
unquestionable priority, while viewing sex as a favor women do for men.
A woman will want a man to be exclusive to her in a relationship, not
because she cares about losing him to another woman, but because she wants to
more easily control him. The conditional statements she makes are designed
to be unquestioned, morally sound, and mask her real intentions under the
guise of love. "If you love me, then you won't have sex with another woman".
She is not interested in exclusivity so much as her being the only one he
can turn to for sex and sexual intimacy. If his actions cause her grip over
him to weaken, she makes him feel guilty by feigning that he has
emotionally hurt her and labeling him a "cheater".
Men are also trained from a very early age to view marriage as the
ultimate goal of any relationship. However, a man has nothing to gain from
marriage. It is instead left unexamined by men, why they should take pride in
asking a woman to marry him. Women simply contend that it is the ultimate
gesture of true love, and that nothing could be more romantic. In an effort to
please women and cater to her happiness, men feel a strong desire to get
married. However, a woman's goals are different."
Then William Walton asked his wife, an Argentine, to have an abortion! It's
all about class!
"Marriage is simply a way of making it nearly impossible for her workhorse
(man) to leave her, and allow her to no longer put in the effort of trying
to keep him around. She wants the legal right to half of his assets and
income, and support for the children should he decide to leave her. When men
try and cater to her romantic desire for marriage under the guise of love
but try and isolate it to just love and no financial or legal aspects
involved (i.e. a pre-nupt), a woman will always object. She will do her best
to
hide behind the guise of love and romance, claiming "if you really love me,
then you won't need one" and "it's unromantic, there is no yours and mine,
just ours". However, her intentions are anything but romantic. She wants
security, the financial and legal security that a marriage with no pre-nupt
provides her.
A revised version of the book is currently in print. Her play Speer (1998)
is a work of fictional biography about the German architect and has been
staged in Berlin and London, directed by and starring Klaus Maria Brandauer.
She has also written many other books and plays, but most have not been
translated into English."
"Vilar, Esther (1998). The Manipulated Man. Pinter & Martin. ISBN
0-9530964-2-4.
Vilar, Esther (1976). The Polygamous Sex: A man's right to the other
woman. W. H. Allen. ISBN 0-491-01737-5.
Vilar, Esther (1998). Speer. Transit. ISBN 3-88747-128-8. (play)
Vilar, Esther (1982). El discurso inaugural de la papisa americana (The
inaugural address of the American papess). Lectorum. ISBN 84-02-09008-7.
Luigi Speranza, Bordighera, etc.
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