[lit-ideas] Re: The New Victorians

  • From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2007 00:08:32 -0700


On Jul 12, 2007, at 8:09 PM, Ursula Stange wrote:

Always the best word, Mike. I was fortunate enough to stay at home with my kids for twelve years. I would not change one day of that to now be further ahead in my career or my finances. I always felt blessed to have a husband who felt the same way. Some of our friends have cottages and boats and two cars and fancy houses, but we have kids who actually want to spend time with us. It doesn't get better than that...
U.

At one time I might have scoffed, not because I am a ruthless person but because then I didn't understand. When I stayed home with our firstborn and when many of the child rearing chores fell to me, when summer after summer of "now I'm going to get those talks published" fell victim to the demands of DadCamp and DadTaxi, I knew resentment intimately. That movie line "I could have been a contender" was me; brilliant training, mind the size of a small planet, stuck away in an art college people in this city had trouble identifying. Quite a nice place, in fact, but about as prestigious as a Wyoming outhouse. Stephen Straker was very important in my coming to terms with all this; his wife was a cabinet minister and he raised several good children.

We have friends who employed au pairs and nannies and who sent their kids away to camp and got on with success, or maybe that should be Success. I'm quite happy about the world waiting for my historical understandings; some of these are probably now outdated, but others will come upon the world like the wolf upon the fold. Possibly. When the girls are off at college. Meanwhile, I have the reward of two teenage daughters who turn to me for advice and for laughs and who exhibit none of the nutso behavior that our "successful" friends take to be the norm. About this I feel somewhat bewildered, like the businessman who stumbles into success and wonders if he deserves it. I'm sure my wife's wisdom is equally important in the process. She understands lots that I don't. But I will say here that I'm proud of and love my achievements. Both of them.

David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon

------------------------------------------------------------------
To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off,
digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html

Other related posts: