[lit-ideas] THEN THERE'S THOSE OTHER TIMES
- From: Eric <mr.eric.yost@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 30 Sep 2010 01:14:13 -0400
On 9/29/2010 4:58 AM, Donal McEvoy wrote:
The devil offered Jesus all kinds of generous offers which Jesus turned down while having the good
manners not to say it was in fact only his Dad who had the power to deliver on such promises.
Eventually he returned and spoke to his disciples who asked "Master, what happened?".
Jesus told them, "I'll tell you later. Right now I'm too bloody starving".
So Jesus and the disciples -- sunstruck and almost as mad as Mohammad
during his calamitous unrequited love affair with Gertie the pig --
stumbled to an oasis. A fig tree grew there, but it was not yet time for
figs. Yet Jesus and the disciples were starving and nuts, and one cannot
argue with crazy people. In a rage, Jesus withered the tree.
The disciples stood before Jesus, waiting for an explanation.
Improvising feverishly, Jesus stammered a few lines about spiritual
readiness to bear fruit, faltered, and swearing like an elderly
Confucius in a Las Vegas bordello, unexpectedly performed a radical
miracle. Jesus brought Buddha back to life and transported his body from
Benares to the oasis in the blink of an eye.
"You deal with these people," demanded Jesus.
Gautama Buddha gave an elegant if philosophically meaningless
explanation of the withering. Unfortunately it was delivered in a
language none could understand.
Wotan appeared in a flash of fire, saw his shadow, and vanished.
"Oy," exclaimed Jesus, "another two thousand years of hostility caused
by cultural pseudo-kinship!"
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