[lit-ideas] Re: Sunday's Exchange

  • From: "John McCreery" <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sun, 18 May 2008 12:08:54 +0900

I find it funny, too. And sometimes so sad that an end to it all seems so
damned attractive. Then a poem like this comes along and I say to myself,
"How could I let myself miss that?"

On Sun, May 18, 2008 at 12:03 PM, Mike Geary <atlas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

> Suppose on a Sunday
> you decided
> all of a sudden like
> that you had no reason to live.
> Never mind the kids,
> the wondrous loves,
> the yesness of sensations ever
> yelling in your skin,
> never mind the job you think you hate and despise
> but still romanticize,
> never mind the sublime
> poetry and angelic arts,
> or the stupendous reach of intelligence,
> fuck all that,
> only this matters:
> that all of a sudden
> you want to be rid of it,
> have it over and done with,
> you do not want to care anymore
> ever,
> never ever, ever again,
> no more goddamn caring.
> Life has worn you out.
> And so, goodnight, sweet Prince
> Existence.
> That happens to me 3 or 4 times a week.
> I try to keep my wits about me.
> Say to myself:
> "OK, suppose you could say,
> 'I choose to die'
> and that would be it,
> as easy as that,
> gone in a sigh."
> But there's still the truck to be got home.
> And all the tools to be dispensed with.
> And other odds and ends of my having been.
> Who's going to take care of all that?  My kids?
> They'd fuck it up for sure.
> They have no idea what any of this costs.
> No, no, no.  I can't just get up and go like that.
> I'll need to prepare the way.
> Sell off the assets.
> Maybe on Ebay.
> I don't want some jackleg freon-jockey
> making out like a bandit
> in a yard sale of my hard-scrabble life.
> I'd rather that the sun burst,
> burn all beings to cinders!
> Hear me, God,
> let all living creatures die
> rather than that I
> should suffer the ignominy of
> a jackleg freon-jockey
> profiting off my demise.
> I've always hated money.
> Have always hated people
> who knew the ins and outs of getting it.
> Have always thought that money
> was (or at least was like) shit --
> necessary,
> but who really wants to handle it?
> Slowly I've come to understand
> that Existence itself is just another
> kind of
> Live Stock Exchange:
> this life for that life.
> From top to bottom, bottom to top:
> it's all about exchanging lives without stop.
> So how then to end this little epiphany?
> Let me just say that find it all pretty funny.
> Mike Geary
> Memphis

John McCreery
The Word Works, Ltd., Yokohama, JAPAN
Tel. +81-45-314-9324

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