[lit-ideas] Re: Sunday Wotsit
- From: Ursula Stange <ursula@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 15:05:28 -0400
I hope this is all coming out in a book someday. The Chicken Diaries.
Cheesy Chickens. Chickens in Charge. The Chicken Whisperer. Hmmm.
Maybe there's a reality show in their/your future? I'd pay to see it....
> On Jul 20, 2014, at 2:14 PM, David Ritchie <profdritchie@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> Seared into my memory, for reasons we don't need to go into, is a line from
> Checkov, "My dog eats hazelnuts." At least that's how I remember it. Could be
> that his dog actually ate apricots? Which brings me to my point: people keep
> asking, "Do your chickens eat buffalo... or bananas... or crow?" There's
> widespread curiosity about what chickens eat. I once believed they'll eat
> just about anything, but no; they've gone off weeds. I fear we may have
> spoiled them, turned them into the kinds of beast who eat high up the food
> chain, at the popcorn end of things. I was surprised to find that slugs move
> with impunity within their compound. They still eat worms but apparently they
> leave mucky slime slaughter to ducks. They are however hostile to crows.
> One tried to land this week, which caused the charge of the light brigade.
> "Forward girls, beaks at the ready." The crow took one look at our onrushing
> threesome and took off, caw-ing as he or she gained altitude. "The water
> melon rind is ours," agreed the girls, triumphantly, and walked away.
>
> I am not a morning person. I'm rarely ambitious in the breakfast department.
> I know what I like and that's what I make. But once in a long while, the
> urge slips o'er to make a Fanny Farmer pancake, with rasps fresh off the
> bush, blueberries from the fridge, Jarlsberg and syrup. In a world currently
> marked by deadly intolerance, let this be a sign that no matter how weird the
> other may seem, he too is capable of change. That's the preamble. Now the
> tale. The crow did not go away. I went to pick the raspberries and he or
> she... surely it has to be a he... gives me this long lecture about whose
> terrain I'm straying into and what his crow provo buddies will do to me when,
> like Blucher, they eventually come up. I throw a pinecone in it's general
> direction. He flies to another branch and begins again. The man with the
> blowy machine, who at this time of the morning is manicuring my neighbor's
> lawn, now switches in and drowns him out. I feel the urge to replace my
> decorative garden cannon with something more useful.
>
> Wensleydale announced this week that she was standing for the Presidency of
> the European Union. I told her I thought she was a bit late for
> registration. "Well," she said, "I've got to stand for something, else I'll
> have to sit." She convinced Appenzeller to sit in. I came across the two of
> them having a little chant. "What," I asked, "is the nature of your
> protest?"
> "We don't know," said Appenzeller. "But I doubt it's about Nature. We're
> happy with that."
> "Except for crows," said Mimo, listening in.
> "Something will be revealed," said Wensleydale.
> "This isn't about eggs, is it?" I wondered, having come in search of same.
> "Could be," said Wensleydale. "We might create an egg mountain."
> "I'll warn the E.E.C."
>
> Mimo has taken to staring into the house for long periods, watching us as we
> go about our business. Now and then you'll look up and there's this curious
> eye peering in. I went out and asked her what she was up to.
> "We're not spring chickens," she began.
> "No," I said, "more like Autumn ones." This is factually accurate.
> "You jest," she said. I adjusted attitude.
> "So I was wondering," she said, after a while.
> There was a long pause. "Right?" I said, encouraging her to finish.
> "What heaven is like."
> "Heaven?"
> "High up? Within the many mansions. Beyond the top of the stairs? Where
> you gods live?."
> "Oh," I said, "right... We make our own beds; then we lie in them."
> What can you say?
>
> David Ritchie,
> Portland,
> Oregon------------------------------------------------------------------
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