[lit-ideas] Sunday Twofer

  • From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sun, 30 May 2010 11:17:58 -0700

mine's a pint
gawan ask me what i did
mudded and plastered the 'ole bloomin' void
din i

splash it on all ovah

meanwhile where's the boss
naffed off
dun like the void
too mucky for a mucky muck
wants to improve it wiv art
'ere we are sweatin' buckets
an' he's off inventin' the bloody noh play

give a mason any day

Four facts to consider when you get that Disneyland song, "It's a small world" stuck in your head: when you look him up on the web, President Grant measured five foot eight, and weighed one hundred and fifty pounds, but in Mark Perry's book "Grant and Twain," on entry into West Point the young man shrinks to one hundred and seventeen pounds--not a problem, older men get fat-- but a height of five foot one. Two, Grant's real first name was Hiram. The senator who recommended him to West Point shortened the name, and then added an S. Three it was Lincoln--tall guy--who recommended Pickett--whose wife said he was "of medium height"-- to West Point. Four it was Longstreet, six foot two and nearly twice as heavy as Perry's young Grant, who stood as best man when the tanner's son-- Grant--married Mr. Dent's daughter (whose middle name was Boggs). Lagniappe--Grant and his wife are not actually buried, and she lies beside him in the mausoleum, (making a total population in the tomb of two) so the answer to Groucho's famous question has a bit of a twist to it, but finally of at least one thing we may be certain--the damn song's gone, right?

David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon

Other related posts: