[lit-ideas] Sunday Twofer
- From: David Ritchie <profdritchie@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 13 Jul 2014 10:16:52 -0700
I tried chatting with the chickens about the World Cup. Mentioning Germany
seemed to set them off. Captain Mimo said, "Ooh, no. No, no. It's the
diseases, you see."
Cheddar echoed, "No, no, we don't like Germany."
I admitted being puzzled. "Do you support Brazil?"
"Where?"
"Brazil."
"No, no. Don't like the sound of that one either."
There was a good deal of nodding, "No support around here for bra...thingy."
"...whatever you said."
I tried for clarity, "Why the antipathy towards Germany?"
Came the enigmatic response, in chorus, "Koch."
If they'd had hands to put over their ears as they said this, I think they'd
have used them. Koch was the devil incarnate. I searched for a mental
reference. The ex-mayor of New York? What would chickens know about him? No
connection with Germany. Then it dawned, "Ah," I said, "Robert?"
"Robert Heinrich Herman," said Appenzeller, with the care and precision of
someone who wanted no ambiguity.
"That's the feller!" said Rocky.
"What's wrong with him? Father of bacteriology? Invented agar."
"Agar!"
They ran around like birds from Much Clucking in the Marsh. It was a while
before they calmed down enough to resume the conversation.
"The diseases, you see."
"They blame us."
"Murder!"
Wensleydale offered one of her pronouncements, "We're the Jews of the animal
world."
Pecorino added, "Any time something goes wrong...disease-wise...it's...'kill
the chickens' time again."
"We remember."
"Generation upon generation."
"We have ceremonies."
"Hong Kong Day."
"Hong Kong."
I comforted them with chips. Thunder came rumbling. They forgot all about
Robert Heinrich Herman, debated the imminence of skyfall.
I took our twelve year old dog in for vetinary attention this week. A woman
was collecting her terrier-sized dog. She asked how many times a day she
should brush the dog's teeth. Times per day! The receptionist went off to
consult and returned with the thought that once every other day might be a good
target. I looked at Mac and he, me. We agreed it wouldn't be worth the bother.
David Ritchie,
Portland,
Oregon------------------------------------------------------------------
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