[lit-ideas] Re: Sunday Twofer

  • From: David Ritchie <profdritchie@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 8 Aug 2012 15:13:55 -0700

On Aug 8, 2012, at 2:57 PM, Eric Yost wrote:

> The famous dissertation, cited below, sparked the internecine, often 
> bloody, decades-long war between the departments of Welcome Studies, 
> Speak of the Devil Studies, You Betcha Studies, Acknowledgment 
> Studies, Cultural Anthropology, Aloha Studies, and Assertiveness 
> Training Studies. Following practices long established before the 
> Thirty Years War, this protracted conflict was often waged on other 
> department's turf, and resulted in many Department Chairs, even Deans, 
> being roused from their beds and ungallantly spanked. The department 
> of Naming Studies refuses to name the conflict and many deny it even
> occurred.
> Unfortunately Leadership Studies decided not to take the high road and
> instead took the B3149 to Basingstoke.  They then got their feat handed
> to them on a plate.  This whole sorry mess had but one good outcome, the
> fresh and quite wise maxim, "Never look a spanked dean in the teeth."
> This episode, known as the "Hiss My Mystery Lectures Town Drain Affair,"
> attracted the attention of the Vatican, long inactive in bellicose
> operations, and it sent a detachment to the Swiss Guard, and many Jesuit
> operatives, stationing them throughout academe, to photograph the
> spankings and report back, biding its time before declaring a side in
> the issue.
> Masterpiece Theatre has optioned a series.  Kenneth Branagh may play the 
> dean.  Wearing a bowler.

David Ritchie,
writing the opposite of 
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