[lit-ideas] Sunday Something on a Monday

From: David Ritchie <profdritchie@xxxxxxxxx>
To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 12:57:12 -0800
Animals differ greatly on the value of shite. Chickens are the opposite of dung 
beetles; chickens drop pooh anywhere and everywhere, as if it had no value.  To 
the dog this makes no sense.  To Mac it's vital that pooh is deposited only 
where it can do the most good: mark territory, broadcast his power to the 
world, be more useful even than pee.  

While we were away, a bird broke into the chicken coop and began to help him or 
herself to the food.  A very small bird.  A very sly bird.  It may have been 
the James Bond of tits.

I tried to explain to the chickens that we'd visited Kauai, an island where 
chickens run free, the sun shines, fowl food abounds.  They said they knew all 
about paradise and how gods are able to pass freely from the land of the living 
to that of the dead and back.  I put my sandals down, thinking to air them out. 
 Jeeves the cat ran up and collapsed onto them, rubbing his cheek to layer his 
smell on top of mine.  "Funny animals, cats," said Rocky.
"Yeeeeees."

They are producing eggs again.  Also hiding them under bushes.  I asked about 
this new behavior.  Rocky said they agreed they ought to investigate egg 
farming.  
Cheddar, "We can't see what eggs are for, so we thought we'd plant a few, here 
and there...find out what comes up."
"Hard to bury, eggs," Peccorino added.
"I should think," I added.  "How about I take them into the greenhouse?"  I 
added something about an egg in hand being worth two in the bush.  
Appenzeller wondered why anyone would want to pick an egg up.  "Un-natural, 
surely?"
"Not designed for it," Rocky pointed out.  "If you were supposed to pick them 
up, they'd come with handles."
"Or rough surfaces," Mimo posited.
"Maybe," said Peccorino, in a moment of inspiration, "we could kick them?  From 
one line to another!  Bugger drama; we've invented sport!"

David Ritchie,
Portland, 
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[lit-ideas] Sunday Something on a Monday

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