[lit-ideas] Sunday Something

  • From: David Ritchie <profdritchie@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sun, 29 Mar 2015 22:25:12 -0700

There are some things you don't ask.  And then you do.  "Why," I asked the 
girls, "have you decided to start laying in an inaccessible spot underneath the 
hutch?"
"Well," said Appenzeller, "I spent a couple of weeks of my life trying to guard 
against theft, but it turns out that in the modern world this is hard.  You 
leave the nest for a couple of minutes and wouldn't you know... some low-life 
has snuck in and taken the lot."
"Really?"
Rocky joined the conversation, "It's a problem.  We worried."
Cheddar came up, "Can't have all your eggs in one basket.  Stands to reason."
Peccorino, "We talked about installing a security system."
I figured I'd take advantage of my slightly privileged position, "Which 
consists of what?" 
Mimo, "Well, that would be telling."
I worried that, despite my sleight of hand at bread-time, they'd figured out 
that I'm the reverse of Santa Claus.  But no.  Mimo whispered, "We suspect a 
rat."  I nodded, "They can be a problem."
"So," said Appenzeller, "we came up with this idea...and we can only tell you 
because you're a god...spread the risk; some eggs here and some, well...you 
know..."
"No," I said, hoping to solve a mystery, "I'm not sure I do.  Where?"
Sotto voce, Cheddar revealed the secret, "In Germany."
If only I knew where Germany was.

the thing you notice about running water is that it's not running as we 
understand running it should be called flowing or pouring water or water that 
is coming in ways that we approve of on rocks it pounds like our feet upon the 
ground but there's nothing of the knee in that fall running water obeys gravity 
like a slave it yes and no sirs in ways that knees never will there's a 
stoicism about water that goes with human running i don't see in water though 
when i take a moment or two to reflect and we'll note that this is one of the 
things running water cannot do when i take a moment or two to reflect i think 
on what time scale is that which made the rock curve or shrink not patient it 
absorbs the bullying of nature and still gives a good account of itself a 
counterpunch? What ho water! Bet on you!  when they say these colors don't run 
they reckon without water it is what makes the stalagmite and the tide water 
moves and endures even on mars where there's no running in corridors water can 
make colors run no problemo

i can report the walrus said having talked far near and wide of shoes and ships 
and sealing wax and the price of buffalo hide and how vertiginous has been the 
drop in speakers' fees and how one's thighs do chafe when riding the circuit 
round and when the tide's clamor causeth us to don the lord's armor let us 
hopeth it giveth somewhat  in the straps around the girth with the horn a cry 
doth come in that moon she alone will with any degree of certainty be able to 
say how breathy are the three toed sloths how milky will be the current's 
coconut's doings and when behemoth finally hoves into view late as usual she is 
bright and will be able to declare what it is that most women know

ten years and it's time to call the house re-newing guy i'm surprised our gps 
hasn't dialed the number to say hello and sorry we detect signs in your pipes 
and so on that there's decay visible and insurance has sent texts concerning 
the roof and drainage so not basic service probably a major i ask what will be 
the cost approximately two days minimum they say with bot scheduling and off 
gassing but it'll be worth it when you see the results and of course there's 
the peace of mind and a six to ten year guarantee depending on the plan i ask 
whether gutters can be cleaned and tried to include the small hole in the 
driveway's tarmac but they were firm firmer than the driveway they offered to 
include cleaning our european masters but i declined assuming the bots weren't 
yet that skilled 

David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon


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