[lit-ideas] Smart ass jokes
- From: Mike Geary <gearyservice@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 9 Oct 2013 18:33:12 -0500
1. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe revising his draft of Being
and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee,
please, with no cream." The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but
we're out of cream. How about with no milk?" {phattmatt}
2. "Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?" {guitartard}
3. Entropy isn't what it used to be. {inwalshe89}
4. A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The
biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 ft. to the left, the chemist takes
a shot and misses 5 ft. to the right, the statistician yells "We got 'em!"
{Arcadian5656}
5. There are two types of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate
from incomplete data sets {cynognathus:}
6. There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure
{skullturf}
7. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K
now. {the breadlord}
8. The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of
bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes home with 12
loaves of bread. {android47}
9. A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the
newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a
girl"? The logician replies: "yes". {jdefaver}
10. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
(LaChupacabras}
11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says "Make me one with
everything." {SpookyStairs}
12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.
{flamebrockade}
13. C, E flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, no
minors." {Mkewl}
14. The bartender says,"We don't serve time travellers in here."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
{Erroneous Rex}
15. Wife walks in on husband, a string theorist, in bed with another
woman. He shouts, "I can explain everything!" {newloaf}
16. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish
{StickleyMan}
.
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from http:
thoughtcatalog.com/2013/50-people-on-the-most-intellectual-joke-i-know/
edited and submitted by Mike Geary (rhymes with weary, not with fairy --
not that there's anything wrong with that)
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