[lit-ideas] Re: STOP THE PRESS -- WEATHER HAS BEEN DECLARED!

  • From: Andy <mimi.erva@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sat, 3 May 2008 07:21:00 -0700 (PDT)

I only watch the Home & Garden Channel, and the
weather's always lovely there.  Even if it's not, in
under 30 minutes they make it lovely.  It's
interesting that the biggest catastrophizers on
televsion, the Weather Channel, sailed through the day
the Towers went down without missing a beat,  They
just kept broadcasting like nothing was happening. 
Maybe when the real thing hits they they just froze? 
Or maybe because it wasn't caused by the weather it
didn't count?   



--- Mike Geary <atlas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

> I'm curious.  Do the local TV stations where you
> (Lit-Id listers) live, stop the world when there are
> severe weather warnings?  Here in Memphis severe
> weather in spring and fall are not uncommon, are
> expected in fact.  It's part of the fun of living
> here.  But our idiot TV news/program directors not
> only get the tornado-giddies, ("could this be the
> time it really happens?") -- we all get that -- but
> they pre-empt all programs -- especially national
> news programs -- to show weather radar images for
> hours on end, as weather-readers blather the same
> blather they've been blathering for hours.  They
> take the radar down to a specific street, each pixel
> multiplied a hundred thousand times and each
> screaming weather severity in blood red gore.  "See
> there, see?  It's raining on Parade Avenue."   They
> study the radar images for the "tell-tale hook echo"
> that signifies a possible tornado.  Try to decide if
> this thing here is a hook or just a false return. 
> They have fun those weather people do, getting all
> that face time which is like double overtime. 
> "Tornados been veddy, veddy good to me."  I've lived
> an inordinate number of years here and I've never
> seen a tornado.  There was a period long ago when I
> was certain tornadoes were searching for me.  I
> sought out places to hide.  I used to think of
> tornadoes as the twisting finger of God searching me
> out.  But that was a rough period and long ago.  Now
> I rip open my shirt and with my bare my chest as a
> clear target shout:  "Here I am, God.  Bring it on!"
> 
> Still no tornadoes.  Some exciting as hell winds,
> thunder storms loud as goddam Heavy Metal concerts
> and complete with electrifying lightshows.  But no
> damage to me yet, in all these years, nothing more
> damaging than cancelled picnics.  Actually, I love
> the storms we have here.  Seattle is so woosie in
> its weather.  The Weather here is manly and commands
> an uppercase 'W'.  More than manly, it's GORILLA. 
> But that's no excuse to cancel the news that I use
> for target practice -- spitting at the screen.  I've
> gotten good.  Can sometimes hit the person I'm
> aiming at.  
> 
> I'll bet Julie K, who lives here in the middle of
> the country where the weather patterns meet and
> compete, is the only lister who can testify that
> what I say is true.  I'll bet severe weather would
> take precedence over a President's assassination
> where she lives too.  I get furious.  I write highly
> insulting emails to the program directors.  To no
> avail.  Inveighing, I go (to steal a  William
> Buckley pun -- even though I'm a pacifist, I always
> wanted to belt Buckley, he hailed from the land of
> ilk and money, which should not be confused with a
> world that is real).
> 
> Mike Geary
> Memphis



      
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