[lit-ideas] Re: Pond Hockey
- From: wokshevs@xxxxxx
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx, Robert Paul <rpaul@xxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 1 Feb 2007 19:09:17 -0330
Quoting Robert Paul <rpaul@xxxxxxxx>:
> Ursula can have my place. She lives in Canada and knows the rules.
> Besides, I'd need to have my passport renewed. Walter's vouching for
> me is no longer sufficient, I understand.
>
> Robert Paul
> reed.edu
Alas, CSIS (the Canuck version of the KGB) has cracked down big time, ever since
it has been determined that immigrants and philosophers are not integrating
properly into the secular humanist fabric of Canadian multicultural,
post-metaphysical society. RP's Wittgensteinian and Lucasian-Communist leanings
have been noticed by Montreal's finest and the details of his documented
alleged plottings of insurrection and perversion of the youth of the polis have
been conveyed to CSIS by way of the FBI, Interpol and the Gay Boy Scouts of
Canada. RP is thus denied access to all contiguous and adventitious parts of
sovereign Canadian territory. He may, however, place long distance phone calls
and post e-mail messages to persons in mainland Canada. He may not, under any
circumstances, conduct seminars or classes at any accredited university or
secretarial college, where "accreditation" is defined by the AAUP and the
Catholic University of America, Washington.
Mr. Paul retains, however, in virtue of his Chancelorship of Mutton College,
Nebraska, the privilege of flying over Canadian territory in an authorized
Canadian, American or Polish carrier (including dog-sleds) on Mondays and
Thursdays between the hours of 10 and 11 am, EST. Sorry, RP, we live in a time
of war and intense climate change, and I'm only a wartime professor of
philosophy.
Addendum: Please be warned that it is categorically imperative for and of you
not to accept invitations for drinks at any of the major hotels in Canada or
mainland USA. Beware of voluptuous, albeit shy, female students and university
administrators with Russian accents and secular-humanist dispositions of
thought, movement and character offering to show you their recently purchased
thongs from Paris. They will typically look like Sandy Bullock.
Vladimir Kasimir Gavrilov McCormack O'kshevsky
Office of the KGB
Odessa, Newfoundland
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