[lit-ideas] Re: Police Advise People to Be on the Lookout for an Invisible Vehicle
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 27 May 2005 11:41:42 -0700
Three, not unconnected items from my Scottish magazine. A survey by
Professor Khalid Aziz, of Aziz Corporation, has concluded that having an
upper class accent is no way to get on in modern Britain. "It creates the
impression of someone who is bumbling and quaintly old fashioned," said
Professor Aziz. On the other hand, the story continues, "40% of Britain's
business leaders felt that people with a Scottish accent were hardworking
and reliable." The writer concluded that this means that a Scottish accent
conveys the impression of honesty and trustworthiness; I'm wondering if
there has been a decline in Scotland's math instruction.
This provides preamble--bowler hats and upper class accents are sometimes
found together--to a story that I shall reproduce exactly as it appears in
the "Bens and Glens and Heroes; News of Interest to Scots" column. The
headline is "Top Secret Car Stolen in Glasgow," and the story is the second
lead, behind news that Ellen MacArthur is buying a dream home on the Isle of
Skye and before news that a new translation has been published of "Les
Indies Noire," the novel that Jules Verne wrote about a coal city under Loch
Katrine in the Trossachs.
"A nationwide hunt is underway to recover a twenty million pound (about
thirty six million dollars) "invisible" car which was stolen when a bungling
Ministry of Defence official left it running while he went into a Glasgow
liquor store to buy lottery tickets. "I remember the man," the shopkeeper
said, "because he ws wearing a bowler hat, which is quite unusual in these
parts. The next thing we knew, a police helicopter was overhead and an army
truck full of soldiers arrived." The car uses technology developed by
Scottish scientists in which each cell of the paint is either a digital
camera or a high-quality projector. When a small electrical charge is
applied to the paint, the cameras and monitors switch on and ayone looking
at the car sees only a picture of the background. Embarassed Ministry of
Defence officials fear the thieves will use the stealth car as a get-away
vehicle and have told residents to be on the lookout for a car...that can't
be seen."
The Jules Verne story is confirmed here
http://news.scotsman.com/entertainment.cfm?id=212472005
Ellen MacArthur's plans are confirmed here
http://news.scotsman.com/archive.cfm?id=150382005
I can't find confirmation of the car story. Too good to be true?
I did, however, discover that in an attempt to stem pension fraud, Scottish
officials occasionally ask people to sign a "certificate of existence." It
occurs to me that a sophist could in good conscience attest that Aunt Polly
still exists when, in fact, she is merely nailed to her perch.
David Ritchie
Portland, Oregon
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