The Onion Weekly Dispatch - 10 NOVEMBER 2004Did you see this latest? It's inspiring! Stan ----- Original Message ----- From: The Onion To: writeforu2@xxxxxxxxxxx Sent: Tuesday, November 09, 2004 5:32 PM Subject: The Onion Weekly Dispatch - 10 November 2004 » Please add The Onion Weekly Dispatch to your Address Book so this newsletter doesn't get filtered. VOLUME 40 ISSUE 45 10 NOVEMBER 2004 Send This Newsletter To A Friend Nation's Poor Win Election For Nation's Rich WASHINGTON, DC-The economically disadvantaged segment of the U.S. population provided the decisive factor in another presidential election last Tuesday, handing control of the government to the rich and powerful once again. Full text » U.S. To Send 30,000 Mall Security Guards To Iraq WASHINGTON, DC-Pressed for additional troops to police the Iraqi general elections scheduled for January, the Pentagon announced Monday that it will dispatch 30,000 U.S. shopping-mall security guards to the troubled Sunni Triangle region. For more headlines, visit theonion.com » The Republican Majority "So they still control the House, Senate, and Oval Office? Well, at least we still have the smug, condescending attitude that cost us the election in the first place." -Beverly Banks, Systems Analyst For more, visit theonion.com » Bush Promises To Unite Nation For Real This Time WASHINGTON, DC-A week after winning a narrow victory over Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, President Bush promised to "unite the divided nation, but for real this time." "Just as I pledged in 2000, I promise to bring the two halves of this nation together-only this time I'm really gonna do it," Bush said Tuesday. "I'll work hard to put an end to partisan politics. Seriously, though. This term, I will." Bush then requested the support of all Americans for his agenda of cutting taxes and extending America's presence in Iraq. For more News In Brief, visit theonion.com » Interview with: Alexander Payne With only four features to his credit, writer-director Alexander Payne has established himself as one of the most reliable auteurs in American comedy, drawing comparisons to Preston Sturges and Billy Wilder for his crackling dialogue and acerbic social commentary. Originally from Nebraska, Payne returned to his hometown of Omaha for his first three comedies, which depict the Midwest without the... Full text » For more features and reviews, visit theonionavclub.com » Special Offer New York Times for Half the Price Click here to receive 50% off home delivery of the New York Times. Featured Product Stereotypes are a real time saver T-Shirt White 100% preshrunk cotton shirt with headline and Onion logo on front. More products » Current Contest Win a trip to Vegas! Something's happening in hotel rooms all over Las Vegas. But, what happens here, stays here-unless you're the maid! See what the maid found and win a trip to Vegas! More contests » © Copyright 2004, Onion, Inc., All rights reserved. Unsubscribe Privacy Policy ------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html