[lit-ideas] Nation's Poor Win Election for Nation's Rich

  • From: "Stan Spiegel" <writeforu2@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "Bonnie Spiegel" <Bonnie121W@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Alisa Spiegel" <ASpi1298@xxxxxxx>, <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "David Cowen" <davidcowen@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Tue, 9 Nov 2004 20:40:18 -0500

The Onion Weekly Dispatch - 10 NOVEMBER 2004Did you see this latest? It's 
inspiring!
Stan

----- Original Message ----- 
From: The Onion 
To: writeforu2@xxxxxxxxxxx 
Sent: Tuesday, November 09, 2004 5:32 PM
Subject: The Onion Weekly Dispatch - 10 November 2004


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       VOLUME 40 ISSUE 45  10 NOVEMBER 2004 
            Send This Newsletter To A Friend 
                  Nation's Poor Win Election For Nation's Rich
                  WASHINGTON, DC-The economically disadvantaged segment of the 
U.S. population provided the decisive factor in another presidential election 
last Tuesday, handing control of the government to the rich and powerful once 
again.
                  Full text » 
           
                 
                 
                  U.S. To Send 30,000 Mall Security Guards To Iraq
                  WASHINGTON, DC-Pressed for additional troops to police the 
Iraqi general elections scheduled for January, the Pentagon announced Monday 
that it will dispatch 30,000 U.S. shopping-mall security guards to the troubled 
Sunni Triangle region.
                 
                 
                  For more headlines, visit theonion.com » 

                 
                 
                  The Republican Majority
                  "So they still control the House, Senate, and Oval Office? 
Well, at least we still have the smug, condescending attitude that cost us the 
election in the first place."
                  -Beverly Banks, Systems 
                  Analyst 
                 
                  For more, visit theonion.com » 
             
                 
                 
                  Bush Promises To Unite Nation For Real This Time
                  WASHINGTON, DC-A week after winning a narrow victory over 
Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, President Bush promised to "unite 
the divided nation, but for real this time." "Just as I pledged in 2000, I 
promise to bring the two halves of this nation together-only this time I'm 
really gonna do it," Bush said Tuesday. "I'll work hard to put an end to 
partisan politics. Seriously, though. This term, I will." Bush then requested 
the support of all Americans for his agenda of cutting taxes and extending 
America's presence in Iraq. 
                 
                  For more News In Brief, visit theonion.com » 
           
                  
                  Interview with: Alexander Payne
                  With only four features to his credit, writer-director 
Alexander Payne has established himself as one of the most reliable auteurs in 
American comedy, drawing comparisons to Preston Sturges and Billy Wilder for 
his crackling dialogue and acerbic social commentary. Originally from Nebraska, 
Payne returned to his hometown of Omaha for his first three comedies, which 
depict the Midwest without the...
                  Full text » 
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