[lit-ideas] Re: Movie games
- From: Mike Geary <jejunejesuit.geary2@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 16 Nov 2013 12:43:37 -0600
These are classified ads placed in U.K. Newspapers:
*FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. *
*8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! *
*_____________________________________ ______ *
*FREE PUPPIES *
*1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. *
*_____________________________________ ___________ *
*FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. *
*Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. *
*_____________________________________ __________________ *
*JOINING NUDIST COLONY! *
*Must sell washer and dryer, £100. *
*_____________________________________ ________________________ *
*WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. *
*Worn once by mistake. *
*_____________________________________ ______________________ *
*And the WINNER is... *
*FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
*
*Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. *
*No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. *
*_____________________________________ ______________________ *
*Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. *
*"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, *
*how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?" *
*_____________________________________ _______________________ *
*Children Are Quick *
*TEACHER: Why are you late? *
*STUDENT: Class started before I got here. *
*____________________________________ *
*TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' *
*TEACHER: No, that's wrong. *
*GLENN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. *
*(I Love this child) *
*_____________________________________ _______ *
*TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? *
*DONALD: H I J K L M N O. *
*TEACHER: What are you talking about? *
*DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. *
*__________________________________ *
*TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have *
*today that we didn't have ten years ago. *
*WINNIE: Me! *
*_____________________________________ _____ *
*TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? *
*GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. *
*_____________________________________ __ *
*TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' *
*MILLIE: I is... *
*TEACHER: No, Millie. Always say, 'I am.' *
*MILLIE: All right. 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' *
*________________________________ *
*TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his *
*father's cherry tree, but he also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you *
*know why his father didn't punish him? *
*LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. *
*_____________________________________ _ *
*TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? *
*SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. *
*______________________________ *
*TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same *
*as your brother's. Did you copy his? *
*CLYDE** : No, sir. It's the same dog. *
*(I want to adopt this kid!!!) *
*___________________________________ *
*TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking *
*when people are no longer interested? *
*HAROLD: A teacher *
*__________________________________ *
*PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE SMILE... *
*Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has
been turned off. *
On Fri, Nov 15, 2013 at 12:34 AM, Torgeir Fjeld <torgeir_fjeld@xxxxxxxx>wrote:
> I met Death today. We are playing chess.
> -phatic
> https://twitter.com/m_phatic
>
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