[lit-ideas] Monday Sports Report

  • From: "Simon Ward" <sedward@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Mon, 4 Jun 2007 20:53:03 +0100

Deep in deepest south Devon, some five miles east of Plymouth, is a smallish, 
two pub village called Wembury. Understandably, this causes problems with the 
many Japanese visitors who, having researched Blitan on the Internet, decide to 
visit a very large football stadium. Not that they should be disppointed with 
views out to sea; a darkened silhouette that must be the Great Mew Stone or, 
flashing in the twilight haze twice every ten seconds, fabled Eddystone 
Lighthouse, the construction that inspired a verse from a venerable Sea 

My father was the keeper of the Eddystone light 
He married a mermaid one fine night 
From this union there came three 
A porpoise and a porgy and the other one me!

Yo ho ho, the wind blows free, 
Oh, for the life on the rolling sea! 

Ah yes, long has been the sojourn away from the rippling sails, the swaying 
mast, the swill bucket...oh to lean over the gunwale in the morning ... heaving 
up ... the splendour of it, the diced carrots and orange juice mixed with ... 

But I digress (or digest), for there we were gazing fondly out to sea, a clear 
view of the Eddystone light blinking out of the sea fog as it meanders in on 
the late afternoon tide, the gulls singing out of the gloom, the sun glinting, 
lighting up the shadow cast by the moon as it scitters across the night sky. 
Strong indeed are the pints of Muddypuddle (4.8% by volume), strong but smooth, 
the head nondescript, a mere smattering of soft bubbles, reminiscent of stale 
washing up water. The pool balls crash, the darts fly and the curry is 
admirably hot ...

Oh but I can see Admiral Bencroft even now. Though many years have past, he's 
still there, fresh in the mind's eye, his voice strident and clear across the 
poop deck "You there!! Yes you! I want that pile of vomit cleared up right 
away." And the Qautermaster also, whispering in my ear: "If you're gonna puke 
sonny, make sure you do it downwind." 

What memories...

...we got hammered in the cricket match.


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  • » [lit-ideas] Monday Sports Report