[lit-ideas] Re: Martyrdom Seekers 400
- From: "Lawrence Helm" <lawrencehelm@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2006 13:57:51 -0800
Well, I guess we know whose getting a big fat fatwa next!
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
-----Original Message-----
From: lit-ideas-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:lit-ideas-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
On Behalf Of Eric
Sent: Sunday, February 19, 2006 1:43 PM
To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [lit-ideas] Martyrdom Seekers 400
> Mohammad Ali Samadi, spokesman for Esteshadion, or Martyrdom Seekers,
boasted
> of having hundreds of potential bombers in his talk at a seminar on
> suicide-bombings tactics at Tehran's Khajeh Nasir University.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Just imagine the syllabus and the
listing in the college catalog.
__________
Martyrdom Seekers 400
Aims: In this course we will explore the
phenomenon of Suicide-Murder as an act of national
fascism. By comparing the Great Satan to the
utopian Islamic Republic of Iran, we will seek
answers to such questions as: Why did so many
great minds gather in those satanic places? How
could the work they produced arguably be stolen
from the Islamic Republic? How can we blow them up?
Course work: You will be asked to perform three
main tasks in this course. First, to read and
discuss the texts assigned for the first five
sessions. Second, to give one "context" report on
a secondary source of successful self-detonation.
Third, to write a 4500-5500-word essay, composed
in stages throughout the second half of the
semester, on (a) America the Great Satan,
(b)Suicide-Murder as a Religious rite that will
endear you to the Ground of All Being, (c) an
address where you want your head mailed and your
reasons for selecting that address.
Detailed instructions about the oral reports and
essays are on separate intricately-illuminated
sheets, Allah be praised.
Grading: You will receive two grades in this
course. One will be for your Suicide-Murder (70%),
the other for your participation in discussion and
the essay(40%). The grade assigned your essay will
reflect my judgment of its intellectual quality.
To arrive at it, I will ask: Is this a thorough,
insightful, well researched, well argued, and well
written statement about Suicide-Murder? The grade
assigned to your participation will reflect my
judgment of your commitment. To arrive at it, I
will ask: Was this person brilliant or voluble and
ALWAYS in agreement with me? Instead I will ask:
Did this person demonstrate that s/he did the
reading and show a willingness to pitch in and
detonate?
Attendance: Attendance is required at all meetings
of the seminar. For every unexcused absence, the
number of Paradisaical Virgins you receive will be
lowered by two. That is, if you miss once, you can
do no better than 70 Virgins twice, no better than
68 Virgins; and so on. In thinking about this
policy, bear in mind that one miss in this class
is 10% of the total meetings; that, since there
are no examinations, SUCCESSFUL DETONATION is the
only way to show you have done the reading; and
that a seminar is a collaborative effort that
requires everyone to pull his or her weight, and
press the detonation switch together.
Office hours: Given my schedule as ChairMullah,
office hours don't work too well, especially
during religious festivals. If you want to see me,
drop by Jihad 315 or make an appointment. Don't
hesitate to reach me by e-mail
(Samadi@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) or phone (775 A.D.).
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