[lit-ideas] Re: Marfa Lights
- From: John McCreery <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: Lit-Ideas <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 17:26:40 +0900
No need at all to spell it out. I just felt that "The lights hadn't
brightened the night" was an unnecessary intrusion between Katmandu and
Nepal. Also a bit obvious perhaps in terms of the mood of the moment.
But, hey, it's your poem, and I claim to no expertise as a critic.
Be well,
John
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 4:07 PM, Lawrence Helm <lawrencehelm@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
> It would be breaking the Poet-Code to say what I had in mind when I wrote
> the poem. J We did go to Marfa where her sister lived. Her sister's
> husband was in the Border Patrol and stationed there at the time. I went
> with him to the two restaurants Marfa has, but one of them was preferred by
> the ranchers or farmers who would drive as far as 60 miles to eat there.
> The Marfa Lights were (are) famous but I found them disappointing. Still
> one can't go to Marfa without talking about the lights. It's mandatory.
> J
>
>
>
> Lawrence
>
>
>
> *From:* lit-ideas-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:
> lit-ideas-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] *On Behalf Of *John McCreery
> *Sent:* Monday, December 22, 2014 4:09 PM
> *To:* lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> *Subject:* [lit-ideas] Re: Marfa Lights
>
>
>
> Very nice. But do you really need "The lights hadn't brightened the
> night." For me, ending with
>
>
>
> Susan
>
> With stars reflected
>
> In her eyes
>
> Was far above
>
> The mountains of Nepal
>
>
>
> would be better.
>
>
>
> What do you think?
>
>
>
> John
>
>
>
>
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
>
> On 2014/12/23, at 1:42, Lawrence Helm <lawrencehelm@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> Susan was clear-headed
>
> Looking with me as we drove
>
> Though we saw little
>
> Throughout the miles
>
> To her sister, remote
>
> From almost everything.
>
> Ranchers came from miles
>
>
>
> For breakfast at one of the two
>
> Restaurants and in the evening
>
> There was little one could do
>
> Unless one drove to see
>
> The lights knowing they
>
> Wouldn't always appear
>
> And when they did
>
>
>
> They seemed little more
>
> Than headlights on a road.
>
> We were assured there were
>
> No roads there. Perhaps
>
> An inversion created a lens
>
> I thought, but the air
>
> Was clear and one could see
>
>
>
> The stars to a magnitude
>
> Of five with our
>
> Poor eyes. The lights
>
> Moved where no single
>
> Thing was known to live.
>
> I might have gone to
>
> Katmandu instead.
>
>
>
> The lights hadn't
>
> Brightened the night,
>
>
>
>
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--
John McCreery
The Word Works, Ltd., Yokohama, JAPAN
Tel. +81-45-314-9324
jlm@xxxxxxxxxxxx
http://www.wordworks.jp/
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