[lit-ideas] Re: Lovely War

  • From: "Mike Geary" <atlas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Mon, 14 Jan 2008 02:48:13 -0600

JL:
>>Geary still needs to reply to the 326 posts by yours truly that mention his 
>>Irish name -- and he will!<<

>>Mind. It can be ONE response, but I'd rather you do mention each of my post 
>>with an asterisk, or at least the ones you understood.<<


*Ah, there's the rub.  JL thinks I understand him.  He forgets I'm a 
refrigeration repairman.  As Virgil Dewey said in his opinion piece in the 
Onion:  
"Now, I don't claim to understand how them fast-talking city folk work-though I 
hear tell now that they got these computers and hard disks inside the 
refrigerators and they just punch codes into 'em and the refrigerators fix 
themselves and next thing you know they start expectoratin' whole cubes of ice 
out at you. But we got a saying round here: "If the fan ain't running, 
discharge the capacitor to prevent electrical shock, unplug the unit, pry open 
the service panel, set your volt-ohm meter to the RX1 scale, clip a VOM probe 
to each fan motor terminal, and make sure the meter reads from 50 to 200 ohms." 
I know it sounds simple, but they're words to live by, and I s'pose there's a 
shred of wisdom yet in that old saw if you just stop to hear it."  
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/im_just_a_simple_country  

That is to say, I understand my stuff as you do yours.  OK?  Now that that's 
settled, let's get on to what I do understand in your posts.  I understand that 
you have a fine tuned sense of humour (please note the Anglican (heretical) "u" 
inserted in your honour -- and yet again!).  Now then, humor is one thing, 
accuracy another.  Just how acrid are you?  Not very.  Why not?  Accuracy is a 
virtue according to WalterO and Plato.  Get more caustic, I say.  Thomas 
Aquinas says: "Matrimony rhymes with Acrimony -- a coincidence?  I don't think 
so."  Surely you wouldn't try to contradict Aquinas.  You have impregnated your 
audience with your implicatures, time now to marry them.  No more sweet words.  
Tell these folks exactly how you feel.  Use phrases like "asshole motherfucker" 
-- you must learn to speak the local lingo.  Your humor is too refined, too 
clever, too funny.  Where are the mud pies, I want to know.  

Regarding the Achaeans, the Spartans, the Peloponnesians, the Thracians, the 
Thessalonians, the Lesbians, the Salamis and the Baloneys, all I can say is "so 
what else is new?"  You and Lawrence are Loebites and that's as it should be.  
Me?  I'm American all the way.  Something Helm wouldn't understand, but God 
does.

There are obviously many topics you've raised on which you should be taken you 
to task, but it's late and I have several jobs to do tomorrow -- another way of 
saying that I can't just lollygag around Loebian pools or spend all day 
cleaning my guns like some people can.  There's a world out there that must be 
kept working.  Yay, me!

OK, then.  God bless and etc.  Keep the faith, as they say  -- your heretical 
faith, that is, for which you will end up burning in hell -- thanks you, Henry 
VIII -- another one of your beloved Brits.  And keep those posts coming.  Damn 
the Andreas, full posting ahead.

Mike Geary
in Memphis






 


Other related posts: