Oh if all men/husbands were as astute as you two. Do you have any idea how long it takes to train a male to recognize these things? Julie Krueger finally acknowledging that subtext is not a guy thing ========Original Message======== Subj: [lit-ideas] How do I look (Re: Re: Takiyyah) Date: 3/17/06 3:22:48 P.M. Central Daylight Time From: _teme17@xxxxxxxxxx (mailto:teme17@xxxxxxxxx) To: _lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx (mailto:lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx) Sent on: --- John Wager <john.wager1@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: > As a footnote on "lying' to women: I think the > Qu'ran is on to > something here. I seemed to get into trouble with > my former wife no > matter what I said. The cause was a simple question: > "How do I look?" > Sometimes a truthful answer got me into trouble, but > sometimes a lie got > me into just as much trouble. FINALLY I figured out > the contexts were > different. When my ex-wife asked me quite early in > the morning how she > looked, she was asking for an hones, truthful reply, > because she had > enough time to consider if she wanted to take my > reaction into > consideration and change. But when she asked the > same question on the > way out the door, she was NOT asking for truth; she > was asking for > emotional support and encouragement. "You look > great! Go get 'em!" was > they "truthful" reply to that request. What looks > like a "lie" may just > be an example of a different mode of expression. > Indeed, or as Esa Saarinen, a pop philosopher over here summed it up: A man and his wife are going to a party. Man waits for his wife to get ready, and she finally appears all dressed up and asks "How do I look?" Now, at this point if the man thinks he is actually being asked a question, he has already lost. Cheers, Teemu Helsinki, Finland > > -- > ------------------------------------------------- > "Never attribute to malice that which can be > explained by incompetence and ignorance." > ------------------------------------------------- > John Wager john.wager1@xxxxxxxxxxx > Lisle, IL, USA > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------ > To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, > vacation on/off, > digest on/off), visit > www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html > __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html