In a fowl world appearances matter. Mimo is molting and so looks both smaller
than she usually does and more scraggy. I think it’s as a result of this that
she’s been hen-pecked and slipped down the pecking order. Chickens are not
kind animals. You’ll have noticed that there’s no video on facebook of
chickens intervening to save a drowning mouse or to defend a kitten against
rampaging buffalo. Like as not they’d offer bored commentary.
“Seems to be a kitten in trouble over there.”
“Oh yes?”
“Are the buffalo a threat to us?”
“Don’t think so.”
“Well then, budge over, I need more food.”
Two people wrote this week with suggestions for the chickens. Naturally I
passed them on. The was a link to a list of Portland attractions which,
strangely, didn’t include Fort Squawk. I asked the chickens whether they’d
like to be listed as an attraction.
“Not an attraction as such,” was Appenzeller’s view. “I mean some of us (nod
towards Pecorino and careful avoidance of Mimo) are actually attractive, but an
attraction is bound to draw the worst kind of attention.”
Pecorino nodded, “Predators.”
“Canaanites, worshipers of Baal,” Mimo muttered.
“Funny you should mention them,” I said, “because the other missive came from
Israel.”
“We’re the lost bribe,” Mimo explained.
“No we’re not,” said Pecorino, hotly.
“Not a chance,” said Appenzeller. “The cold’s getting to her brain.”
“Are too,” said Mimo. “I have it on excellent authority that we’re the lost
bribe of Israel.”
Before a fight could break out I told them that the Israeli correspondent had
forwarded an account of how Japanese people send their stuffed animals on
cruises, for vicarious enjoyment.
“I wish someone would send her on a cruise,” Pecorino indicated with her head.
“If it involved returning to my homeland…or anywhere a bit warmer than this…I’d
be honored.”
“Why don’t you all imagine it,” I suggested. “You’ve long hours in the dark to
pass. You could voyage inside your heads.”
Mimo had the last word, “There’s more room inside some heads than others.”
Earlier this week, just before I shut my computer down I saw the following
piece of nonsense, “If you’re over fifty and you own a computer, this game is a
must have.” So wrong on so many fronts. If you’re over fifty and own a
computer you probably think of it as a work tool, not a play station. And to
those of us who have played no game since the version of pong that came on our
64K machines, there’s no “must have” about any game. Actually there’s pretty
much no concept of “must have.” “Would like” occurs from time to time, but
generally fades away. “Might buy if everyone else has found it useful for
several years,” is also a possibility. “Can’t be bothered with” is most common.
Pecorino came sidling up, looked over her shoulder and asked in a stage whisper
how any chicken could be a bribe. “I mean it’s not as if we’re valuable in any
way.” I explained that many people in the world valued her weekly
contributions. I sent her away with a line that was deleted from the movie
script of, “The History Boys.” It’s from Jowett, about whom I know nothing,
“We have sought the truth, and sometimes perhaps we have found it. But have we
had any *fun*?”
David Ritchie,
Portland,
Oregon------------------------------------------------------------------
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