[lit-ideas] Hereabouts

  • From: David Ritchie <profdritchie@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sun, 19 Jul 2015 15:26:35 -0700

One of the pleasant things about plane travel in Europe is they often offer you
a free newspaper, often a real newspaper, as you board. Leaving Britain this
time, I was towards the end of the queue and so all that was left was the
"Daily Mail," on which I did my best to look sans scorn, sans hauteur. I
failed. The lead story was that the Helicopter Ambulance Unit which the royal
who just had a baby--you know, the one who married what'serface--just joined
has on its books one very beautiful woman. Photos were provided. Here she was
in a bikini, here in flight suit. And what was the point? That a royal might
be subject to temptation. Who knew?

I learned while abroad that my early years had been spent living next door to a
saint. Our neighbors in Grangemouth were boys. One became an Olympic athlete
and then was locked up for helping colleagues dope. His brother went into
finance. After the last banking crisis, he was put in charge of a major
British bank. Such was his embrace of ethics and doing things right, he picked
up the name, "St. Anthony." One brother this tendency, the other, that. St.
Anthony was fired last week, for not making the bank enough money, but they
gave him a golden parachute. I believe nineteen million was the sum bruited.
Maybe I should look him up?

On reflection my neighbors have been: those two, a spinster who had a
collection of knobkerries and zebra shields, a rock star, a dentist who set up
practice in the schoolroom where David Douglas was educated, a guy who made a
fortune in the dot com bubble, a carpenter. There's been a falling off, a
slip. I'm now surrounded by accountants, a retired engineer, a pediatrician
and a lawyer, a doctor specializing in widdle, an acupuncturist, someone on the
board of the ballet. I'm safe from "Daily Mail" reporting. Wouldn't you think?

David Ritchie,
To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off,
digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html

Other related posts: