[lit-ideas] Re: Going Canadian

  • From: Eric Yost <NYCEric@xxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 08 Dec 2004 00:08:00 -0500

So what do the Canadians go? Go to Italy, put on a Bush shirt, and annoy 
everyone, just to get them even more angry at the Americans?

In his usual brilliant and concise fashion, Andreas has solved the 
problem of universal anti-Americanism. The way out does not lead through 
denial or camouflage, but through direct, hyperbolic confrontation with 
anti-Americans in the non-American street.

An "America; Love It or Leave It!" T-shirt may seem out of place in 
Zandhoven or Trieste, but that would only be the beginning of the Bubba 

Scholars, bohemians, intellectuals, artists, honeymooners, and 
scientists have no business leaving America. Many need to be 
re-Americanized anyway.

A different ambassador is needed. The US should empty its trailer parks 
and urban hellscapes and send the whole bunch packing to Europe and 
other destinations overseas. Establish a federal trust find. Give 'em 
all a one-way passport, a Bush T-shirt, a bait box full of 
nightcrawlers, and let 'em loose.

Ugly Americans ... pfaw ... little do these innocent foreigners know.

All we need is a change in currency conversion rates and we'll go teach 
those foreigners how to do things right. Soon there'll be bass fishing 
in the Rhine and locals will pine for the good old days of Hawaiian 
shirts and cameras.

Thanks Andreas! By virtue of copying President Bush on this reply, I am 
nominating you as the person best qualified to organize and lead this 
vast cultural migration.

Yours in Kleist,

cc: L-I, AR, D, Max Frisch

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