[lit-ideas] Re: Faith-based politics

  • From: "Andreas Ramos" <andreas@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Sat, 6 May 2006 14:52:44 -0700

From: "Teemu Pyyluoma" teme17@xxxxxxxxx

Dear Mr Ramos,

I have long been looking for a job with high pay,
excellent benefits, little effort and no
responsibility. As a career step, I think I need to
pad the religion part of my CV. So which denomination
would you recommend if I want to land a job like that?
You know limos, hospitality suites, briefcases full of
dollars to pad a measly six figure salary, and a
spiritual leader to explain my wife that "limo
services" are a gift from the all mighty that ought
not be declined... the whole family values package.

Speaking of family, my uncle who is the recently
deposed King of Bavaria, needs help moving cash...

You could do Tibetan Buddhist monk. I could see you in a Tibetan Black Crown. Those guys rake in the loot, lots of babes, hang out with Hollywood movie stars, celebrity endorements, etc. You could pass for Tibetan already. What's the diff between a name like Gyalwa Karmapa Ogyen Trinley Dorje and Teemu Pyyluoma? Just speak your local Norwegian and everyone will think it's a Tibetan chant.

Downsides? Tibetan Buddhists can't get into China, which is a big downside. Lots of bribes just waiting to be pocketed there.

Born-again Evangelical has been Very Good for the last few years. They have all the bling-bling: loot, hookers, power. You don't have to do a thing. Bush will appoint you to whatever you want: just say "Sweet Jesus!" and you're Under-secretary in Charge of Hookers for Homeland Security. Evangelicals can go to China: those Commies know what's really going down. Tell lies to the public and live it up behind closed doors.

Downsides? It's not looking too good for President Dumbnuts. If he loses the House this November, he'll get a personal invitation to his very own Impeachment Dance. With mega-scandals now a weekly event, it's looking pretty bad. Just wait til the evangelicals hear about the "GOP Hookers and Cash" scandal. Bush may even lose both the House and the Senate, which means he will be impeached and convicted.

What about his supporters?

Bush was at 36% four weeks ago. He was down to his bedrock of conservatives. Can it go lower?

It's 33% this weekend. 3% loss of hardcore supporters in four weeks. Ultra-conservatives are furious at Bush and they are leaving. They're pissed over endless disasters: 9.11, Iraq, Katrina, the corruption convictions, the resignations, and the scandals.

73% of Americans think the country is on the wrong track. Are they liberal defeatists? Well, 60% of conservatives agee: the US is on the wrong track.

Hell, it's not just Iraq that wants Bush out. The US wants Bush out.



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