Robert quotes Neato-zschee, the unkempt mustache guy from
the sanitarium photo, "The thought of . . . many a bad night."
Mary Louise Gilman, Neato-zschee's only reliable biographer
and the editor of the National Shorthand Reporter, offers
real-life transcribed exchanges in _Humor in the Court_.
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A. By death. Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable? A. I should be. Q. How many times have you committed suicide? A. Four times.
Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
Q. Were you acquainted with the deceased? A. Yes, sir. Q. Before or after he died?
Q. ...and what did he do then? A. He came home, and next morning he was dead. Q. So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
Q. Could you see him from where you were standing? A. I could see his head. Q. And where was his head? A. Just above his shoulders.
Q. Are you sexually active? A. No, I just lie there.
Q. Are you qualified to give a urine sample? A. Yes, I have been since early childhood.
Q. Doctior, what is the meaning of sperm being present? A. It indicates intercourse. Q. Male sperm? A. That is the only kind I know.
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