[lit-ideas] Concerning the struggle to abolish first names (4)
- From: "phatic" <phatic@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 04 Aug 2004 18:11:05 +0200
Georg Johannesen:
CONCERNING THE STRUGGLE TO ABOLISH FIRST NAMES
_A contribution to the word class struggle as a Norwegian love story_
The boy was called Ib or Bo. Those were the two shortest names in the
entire Norwegian area. I think it was Ib, and not Bo, because B and b
is the same both in capital B and miniscule b, while o in Bo is more
vocal than I in Ib, since I is close to the consonant J, that is Jey.
I thought of J (Jey) as a first name, that is J (Jey) Johannesen for
a while. But it ended up with Ib Jansen with Jansen as a
simplification of Johannesen. I think.
Thus our marriage continued with myself on a perennial retreat. She
was the strongest, despite my stubbornness. She had the upper hand as
a unique, singular individual in a struggle with me, who only
represented the masses in their generality. Because I was on
humanity's side. But did that matter? She sided with herself. I lost.
Humanity didn't help me.
I remember that we had a daughter, as well. But I can't remember what
her name was, because a loved child has many names, and I gave her
pet names and nicknames in such a number that she became quite
anonymous in her own way.
I mostly called her Potipeia or rather Kotipeia after the chorus of a
drinking song. But I also called her Little-Wise, Little-Dumb, the
older or younger Edda, Kid, My Kid, Our Kid, Little-Foot, Diaper and
Dancingout. She preferred calling herself Elisa-Elisabeth-Goldstar-
Rosalind, but mostly she would just say she was thirsty, wet, hungry,
alone, and since she was an Aquarius, fishes, wolf, horse, me, her
mother, lady, Arne, boat, aunt Per and Ellen, aunt Kate, her
girlfriends, train, and so on.
For a while it appeared as if she was on my side.
I claimed I was the ceiling, that I was drinking invisible coffee
from a building block and that I was flying high up in the air as a
doctorplane. At the child accepted that -- for a while!
One afternoon we had chased the polar bears out in the hallway. Then
I said:
-- Call me Leif.
But already at the age of three she had become so indoctrinated that
she laughed out loud. She perceived it as if I was joking. She called
me "daddy". My wife was called "mommy". I made her say "moddy" and
"dammy". But neither my daughter nor my wife accepted equality
between the sexes. No, father is pretty and mother is strong. They
stuck to that, both of them. They won. I am still pretty. But she was
strong.
Liv is dead or at least gone. We are divorced.
I will never again hear her pretty voice saying:
-- Stop it, Georg!
Her friends and family says I made her life a misery because she kept
finding reasons to reveal my name in private. I'm not stronger than
that. I long to hear her say:
-- Look here, Georg.
The worst part is to remember how I sometimes conquered her
individualist tendencies and how she some nights would forget my
accursed first name:
-- Oh, Georg, oh, Georg, oh, you, oh, you...
And finally I managed to get her where I wanted. She moaned and
moaned that final letter of the alphabet:
-- =C5, =E5, =E5, =E5, =E5, =E5, =E5!
Then I wasn't alone.
_Note:_
Communism is, as will emerge from my marriage history, purely a male
cause. I think I know why. One male can produce enough sperm in a
short period of time to reproduce four billion people as himself. Men
acquire a collective attitude which stems from the relations of
production in the testicles. Whereas a woman lays 12 eggs per year.
During their sexually mature life, she is producing no more than a
few hundred eggs in total. Women name their eggs. It's as simple as
that. I think.
On 3 Aug 2004 at 19:44, phatic wrote:
> 1. Introduction
>
> For many years I tried to have first names banned.
>
> I saw the use of first names as a Heathen-Christian practice or mal-
> practice, founded on word-magic and mystical thinking, thus pure
> idealism. The use of first names gave fertile soil for conspiracies
> between persons who had mutual knowledge of their names. First names
> gave a false sense of self. People one could expect more from, left
> names and addresses as if they lived in a safe society. Thus, the use
> of first names was corrupting, confusing and weakened the survival
> instinct. I struggled against first names for political reasons: I
> wanted to survive the 20th century!
>
> With the passing of years, my trust in my fellow people has increased
> steadily. Today I see no reason, consequently, to conduct my struggle
> alone, but rather to come out in the open in Windows* and ask for
> support from readers who share my basic outlook.
>
> Thus, my name is Georg Johannesen.
>
> I expect a series of anonymous mails.
>
> 2. Before
>
> Before I used to say:
>
> -- Call me Johannesen.
>
> If I met new people, I would mumble:
>
> -- J-o-a-s-n.
>
> People thought I said Johannesen, Johansen, Hansen, Johnsen, Jensen
> and so on.
>
> I was often misheard, but always misunderstood. When I mumbled my last
> name, people thought I was modest and socially insecure. People didn't
> understand how audacious I was. I was probably socially insecure, but
> in my own way. I'll always manage, I thought. But what about them? I
> trusted me, but not them, to put it simply.
>
> I knew who I was. I didn't want to say what my name was, because then
> they would have a hold on me. I wasn't for sale. I wasn't corrupt. And
> I knew that people continued to be naive enough to say their name
> aloud, memorize it and remember what I, for instance, was called.
>
> _Note:_
>
> For a while, I thought of calling myself "I", as a first name, and "We"
> as last name. Then I would introduce myself thus, loudly and clearly:
>
> ITISIWEGOODDAYYOUYOU.
>
> My friends found it moderately funny. But I didn't get a bank loan.
>
> 3. The break-down. A marriage history
>
> Then I met Liv, whom I fell for. She had quite a first name. She made
> me live, to be silly. It was no end to the number of stale compliments
> I gave her with inspiration in her enormous first name. (Use your
> imagination: Alive, Lively, Live-in, and many other ugly and funny
> things which could amuse a simple soul as my wife's.)
>
> But she called me Georg.
>
> She said it often, particularly when she wanted to address me or in >
> some other way try to get my attention.
>
> -- Georg, she said.
>
> Or:
>
> -- Look here, Georg!
>
> With the word "here", she referred to herself. But it was on her, or
> in her direction, she wanted me to see when she said "look-here". It
> took me a while to see through her. But then I saw everything.
>
> -- Come, Georg, she said and grabbed my arm.
>
> Met a friend, i.e. party member, so I said:
>
> -- You, meet my wife.
>
> Or more formally:
>
> -- May I introduce my spouse? It is Mrs. Misses. She has kept her
> maiden name from the time she was called Miss Misses. She finds it so
> radical, you see, husband or wife, Mrs....?
>
> Naturally she would respond:
>
> -- Stop it, Georg!
>
> Typical, isn't it? She wanted me to capitulate. She wouldn't accept
> that I was N.N. who never gave in. She didn't understand that I
> consisted in acquiring new cover names, such as Leif or Hoo and Hush.
> No, my wife wouldn't be in the phone directory, she wanted a permanent
> residence, and when we had a son, she honestly wanted to call him
> Georg. As in Jr.
>
> But then I called a halt to it. I threatened to sever all contact with
> her. I loved her. But while I loved her, I would say:
>
> -- Well, if that's how you want it, I might as well break off my only
> connection to you!
>
> -- Stop it, she cried and seemed to want to continue, but from then on
> we only practiced 69. And only in the dark.
>
> [* Georg Johannesen, 'Om kampen mot bruk av fornavn', _Vinduet_ 1,
> 1972. Translated by T E Fjeld.]
--
phatic@xxxxxxxxxx
http://phatic.blogspot.com
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